Quote of the day, from NBA "analyst," Jamal Mashburn, this morning on ESPN, after telling a fairly bad joke ...

"With all seriousness aside ..."

That folks, is some sort of combination of "In all seriousness," and "All kidding aside."

Tracy McGrady, whose been hurt and struggling since the end of the season, had a big Game 5 against Utah Tuesday night. After they showed highlights of the game, Mashburn told a joke about how he could have used McGrady's pain medication toward the end of his own career. At least I think that's what he said. I've lost some short-term memory after repeatedly slamming the front door on my right temple.

Posted by Matt James at 9:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

People are always asking (OK, maybe once a month, but still) how long it takes to write a column. Sometimes, it takes 50 minutes. No lie. Start to finish.* Especially when a game ends at 9:30 p.m. and my column deadline is 10:30 p.m. and I have the look of a guy whose wife's water just broke in the eighth inning of a no-hitter and he's having to make decisions that no man should have to make. It gets ugly on deadline sometimes. Things are said. Computers are banged against countertops, or possibly other reporters. Internet connections are cursed. If you're dating a sportswriter -- and really, why wouldn't you be? -- you don't really even know the person until you see them working on deadline. Not good. It's like that episode of "Friends," where Ross tries to convince everyone that the guy Rachel is dating (Ben Stiller) has a terrible temper, but no one believes him until they walk in on him screaming at the chick and the duck and the goose, or whatever animals Joey had in his apartment. That would be me trying to make a deadline, Captain Insano.

*And that includes the time when I'm pacing, guzzling Red Bull or snorting coffee grounds. Hey, they're my performance-enhancing drugs of choice.

On the other side of things, though, some columns take a long time. I've probably spent 40 hours starting at a computer, writing and re-writing, for one column. The more in-depth, feature stuff. You're probably thinking, "I've never read anything of Matt's that should have taken more than a lunch break," and you're probably right, but once you do 10 or 12 interviews for a big story, you have dozens of pages of notes and a couple different digital recorders with interviews on them, and of course none of it is organized. Heck, if we could organize we'd have actual jobs with responsibility, not ones where we're paid to spill mustard on our 10-year-old dress shirt while watching a football game.

I mention this because this week I wrote a column about the Fresno State women's golf team, and more specifically Chelsea Czinski, the No. 5 golfer. The back story is that last year the Bulldogs had a golfer named Jennifer Shipley. She was a sophomore. She was good. She was all-WAC. She shot a 64 at some tournament in Las Vegas, which you and I will never ever ever do. There are probably pro golfers who've never shot 64. And then she quit. Just like that. Last August. It was so strange, her teammates and coach still aren't sure what happened. The weirdest part wasn't that she quit, it was that she did it so publically, sending out an announcement to the media, claiming there had been "mistreatment." It seems everyone she talked to she gave a different reason, so no one is quite sure of the truth. This spring, her boyfriend quit the men's golf team. Now, I'm told, she goes to school and works at Ann Taylor, which this blog has always considered a clothing store for middle-aged women, but what do I know? Maybe it's all teenagers in Ann Taylor.

Fresno State coach Angie Cates thought Czinski could be the No. 5 golfer. Somebody had to. Czinski was a freshman, but she had talent and she'd gone to the fancy academy down in Florida for training. Well all fall the role of No. 5 got passed around a lot, and everyone pretty much stunk. Czinski did not come through at all in the fall. The Bulldogs No. 5 golfer was sometimes shooting in the high 80s, or worse, which puts a lot of pressure on your top four because they know if they blow up and shoot 83, it's probably going to be a score that counts. We don't need to revisit the entire story, since you can -- and should! -- very well read the column yourself.

The story of this spring was that Czinski got a good talking to by Cates* right before Christmas break and she absolutely delivered. And the day after I wrote a column about it, Day 2 of the WAC Tournament, she shot her best round of her short career and the Bulldogs won their first WAC title. Cates now has more outright WAC titles than Fresno State football coach Pat Hill, a fact I will definitely have to remind him of the next time I want to spoil his good mood. The things I prelude almost never play out the way I insinuate they might, so it was nice to see, for me. Because it's all about me, apparently. The coolest part was that the top four all played great, so Czinski's round technically didn't even count. She played her role perfectly, the unsung No. 5. I think she shot a 76, which is great since all they've ever asked is for her to shoot in the 70s.

*Angie Cates might be the nicest person I've ever met, not including my mother. During the WAC Tournament she gave me the candy bar out of her sack lunch because her mother was in town and they were going to Angie's second wedding dress fitting. She gets married this summer. The first time, apparently, the dress was a touch tight, which is hard to believe because she's so little, but it was, and so she'd been cutting back on the sweets. You've got to have a great sense of humor to tell a columnist with a blog that kind of information. Anyway, I always accidentally call her "Phoebe," you know, because of Phoebe Cates the actress. I did it twice while interviewing Fresno State golfers and neither of them had any idea who Phoebe Cates was. I'm officially older than the Pyramids.

The point of this blog post, I think, was to explain that the Czinski column took longer than my taxes. I don't know why. It just did. The tourney ended at sometime around 3 p.m. and at 10 p.m. I was still struggling. Words were caught in my spleen or something. And usually that means I didn't do enough interviews or find enough interesting tidbits, but I had plenty. I spent the entire day with Czinski's parents, a massive Polish man with a bad knee and a little Japanese woman, and they were absolutely fantastic. Super down-to-earth people, not the parents I expected of a girl who'd attended a fancy golf school in Florida. They said they wanted to invest in their daughter, for her, and I believed them.

Maybe I should invest in a ghost writer who can type faster.

Posted by Matt James at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

All the blog can say about this is, wow.

Posted by Matt James at 2:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

It's about time we posted about the National Championship game, won by a school which I not only attended in the late '90s, but am currently attending*. The Kansas Jayhawks of course beat the Memphis Tigers, a game that I thought was over when Memphis really started to slow it down, and when it was a 9-point lead at the 2-minute mark, and when that stupid free throw was tipped out, and when Derrick Rose hit that %#@*&%^% bank shot, and CAN WE CATCH A BREAK HERE?!?!? DO I NOT PAY MY TAXES AND OCCASIONALLY BREAK FOR WHEEL-CHAIR BOUND CHILDREN IN CROSS-WALKS!?!?!

*I will save you the lengthy story, but the short version is that I attended the University of Kansas for three years, 1997-2000, where I absolutely imploded my GPA because I spent a little too much time here, and here, and here, and with these two, OK, maybe not those exact two, but two who looked a lot like them. Those were magnificent years, one of which I lived in Oliver Hall, the dorm just across the baseball field from Allen Fieldhouse, and camped out for many Jayhawks games, and saw Paul Pierce hit about 37 consecutive shots against Oklahoma on Senior Night and my ears are still ringing. I used to go to Jayhawks football games, too, back when they were pretty bad. I even got to help tear down goalposts when Kansas beat Colorado, back when the Buffaloes were still relevent, although probably not as relevent as we were imagining at the time. I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, but eventually got lucky and stumbled into the William Allen White School of Journalism at the age of 22. It's a fabulous school with brilliant professors, but unfortunately it requires a 2.5 overall GPA before it will hand you a diploma. Two years of pseudo-effort only pulled me back up to a 2.48, or something, a fact that didn't stop me from getting my first newspaper job. Or the second. Or the third. Or this one here in Fresno. Still, though, the idea of me attending college for parts of six years without getting a degree is somewhat disconcerting to my mother, so this school year I finally signed up for an extension course -- "Introduction to Marriage and Family Planning," because it was supposed to be the easiest -- and that's what I'm currently taking. I'm a little behind right now (SHOCKER!) and have to finish it by June, so you never know, I might be a KU student next year, too. Oh, and I need a good grade to bring the GPA up, and let's face it, if I could get good grades, I wouldn't be in this mess. (Yeah, that's the short version of that story.)

Of course it turned out that Kansas could catch a break. They got a steal, a couple clutch baskets underneath, the Mario Chalmers' 3-pointer that will be talked about in small Kansas towns* for the rest of time as we know it, 'til all the continents drift back together and dinosaurs make a comeback. Memphis missed a couple free throws late, which everyone had predicted would come to haunt them, including this blog, which had them losing to some red team from California with a tree for a mascot. I still contend that free-throw shooting was not the Tigers' downfall. They weren't THAT bad, 12-of-19, and when you're talking about the final minutes of a national championship game, I'm not convinced that any team makes all those free throws down the stretch. It's not your average pressure we're talking about. OK, the Jayhawks made theirs, which is I guess why they're champs, and now I'm supporting the missed-free-throw premise which I had just declared somewhat irrelevant. Moving along. Pay no attention to the details.

*West-coasters out here in California have no concept of just how many small towns there are in the Midwest. They're all small. Here's a good example: I went to high school in Hugoton, Kan., a town of 3,000 people. There were 62 people who made it to graduation in my class. Kansas high schools are spread between 1A (smallest) and 6A. Hugoton High School, with graduating classes of a few dozen people, is a 4A school. One of my buddies in another town was in a graduating class of five, and used to brag about being class secretary. Lawrence is one of the bigger towns in the state and Fresno is six times as big. And that's if you're including the 30,000 students at Kansas.

Those photos from earlier in this post were of the celebration Monday night in Lawrence. I've heard stories that there were 40,000 people on Massachusetts Street in Lawrence. That's the bar district in Lawrence, a seven-or-so block stretch of one street, a little like the Olive Street portion of the Tower District here in Fresno except a LOT more bars and many, many obnoxious Kansas apparel stores. It is certainly not built for 40,000 title-crazed fans, but at least there was no major damage done, unlike after the 1988 Kansas title, when I'm told there were some issues with keeping police cars right side up. Little bit of the same grunge feel, cool coffee shops and young people with bikes and skateboards and dreadlocks. It's pretty sweet. So imagine that. There were 40,000 people on Mass Street. In Allen Fieldhouse, there were 10,000 people acting like the game was happening right there, doing the same pre-game chants, holding up newspapers when Memphis was introduced, tossing confetti during made baskets, Waving the Wheat, singing the alma mater and doing the Rock Chalk Chant* when the game was wrapped up in overtime. I couldn't find a good video of the Jayhawks Waving of the Wheat, but I continue to say that its the only true waving of the wheat in college sports today. Schools with their own versions should be banned from NCAA competition. Anyway, all that was going on in Allen Fieldhouse, WITHOUT A GAME. Except for the broadcast on the scoreboard. People even rushed the court at the end of the game -- something I'm not sure whether to be proud of or embarrassed about -- and that never happens at KU.

*Don't ask me what it means. I have no idea. Someone, somewhere, knows, but it isn't me.

As I was discussing on Sporting News Radio this week, I actually watched the game from a cabin in Bass Lake (no, of course not my cabin; I'm still paying on these shoes) with several guys. Two guys were cheering for Memphis just to be pains, I think, but most everyone was cheering for Kansas, and a couple guys needed a Jayhawks win to seal up their bracket pools. When Chalmers hit that three, it was the closest thing to a heart attack I've had since the Boise State Fiesta Bowl*. I went from a reclined position in a chair, to mid-air. Instantly. Pretty sure my feet never even touched the ground. I was the first person to jump eight feet directly from his butt. You could have driven a Honda Civic under me. The rest of every hour since is a little hazy, and which is scary considering it's Thursday now. My dad called Tuesday and said one of the local radio stations in southwest Kansas was playing the KU fight song every hour on the hour, which he also said had gotten old after about 90 minutes.

*For that one, I jumped and actually landed on the coffee table. There was someone sleeping in the next room, so I couldn't even scream, just ran around the house like a mime on fire, wishing there was anyone to high-five or yell "DID YOU SEE THAT?!" (Not sure whether I mean a mime actually on fire, or a mime pretending to be on fire, but I guess it works either way.)

I've been going to MSNBC.com* (edit: NBCSports.com) for most of my KU coverage because one of their editors, Mike Miller, is a fantastic guy and a Kansas alum. Also, I was in his wedding last summer. So yeah, I'm biased, but he does good work. Here's the clips of the postgame press conference. Notice Memphis coach John Calipari saying pretty much the same thing I did concerning missed free throws when he says, "They're not machines, these kids. They're just not." Interesting that my dad said something similar when he called, about how remarkable it is when you realize how much pressure is on these basketball players, how much you as a fan ache and celebrate with every basket, die a little with every pass and steal and rebound, and then at the end they stick a microphone in front of a player's face and he sounds like an overgrown boy. They're teenagers. They'd be shooting hoops in the driveway, dunking oreos and thinking about girls if they weren't in San Antonio with millions of fans and millions of dollars bending on every move they made.

It's crazy. Just plain crazy.

(*Edit: "MSNBC.com" is no longer correct, or perhaps doesn't even exist. I still works, apparently, if you type it and hit the "enter" button on that Internet thingie, but I'm told that is not how we should be referring to the site. It has become NBCSports.com, for reasons I do not understand, but surely involve somewhere in the neighborhood of $3.2 billion and two CEOs murging into the same human being.)

Posted by Matt James at 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Apparently, here in Sports Columnist Land we're going to spend the day answering emails and phone calls from concerned Kansas State football fans who would like it pointed out that their beloved Wildcats play at Louisville this year, whereas* in today's column, yours truly only mentioned the other three nonconference games: North Texas, Louisiana-Lafayette and Montana State.

*I'm not even sure I used it correctly, but "whereas" is a pretty snooty sounding word. I'll try to work "henceforth" in here later to keep it company.

Among the angry was Aaron from Kansas City. Take it away ...
"You obviously did a little research on K-State's non-conference schedule, however, you blatantly left out a key ingredient to that line-up. That's their September 17 match-up on the road against the Louisville Cardinals. That's a pretty big omission on your part, don't you think?"

Of course it was an omission. Always omiss the details that hurt your argument. They teach you that on the first day of columnist school. I'm not sure it qualifies as "pretty big" though. The Wildcats still have a bad nonconference schedule, or as they should be calling it, "The Sun Belt Conference Tours Manhattan, Kansas."

But we here at the blog would like to commend these faithful Kansas State fans for their commitment to accuracy, as well as their persistence. It takes a long time to dial 11 numbers on a rotary phone*.

*That would be the standard Kansas-lacks-technology joke, which I am allowed to tell because I am, as many of you know, a native of the Sunflower State. Yes, a proud member of the Hugoton High School class of 1995, an elite group of 62 graduates. (Some time the blog will explain how it lost a rigged class officer election.) It's a little like the dentist on "Seinfeld," who converted to Judaism and then felt it was OK for him to tell Jewish jokes. That's me. I was born in Kansas, raised there, drove a tractor, slopped hogs (even though I don't know what that means), ate at the Dairy Queen and the Pizza Hut, so I've paid my dues. I can make fun.

Because we are a service blog -- making up for the inadequacies of the column has suddenly become a full-time gig -- we now present the new-and-improved, fully-updated 2008 Kansas State football schedule, in its completeness. You can judge for yourself.

KANSAS STATE
Aug. 30 - North Texas.................. Manhattan, Kan.
Sept. 6 - Montana State............... Manhattan, Kan.
Sept. 17 - at Louisville.................... Louisville, Ky.
Sept. 27 - Louisiana-Lafayette...... Manhattan, Kan.
Oct. 4 - Texas Tech*.................... Manhattan, Kan.
Oct. 11 - at Texas A&M*....... College Station, Texas
Oct. 18 - at Colorado*...................... Boulder, Colo.
Oct. 25 - Oklahoma*..................... Manhattan, Kan.
Nov. 1 - at Kansas*........................ Lawrence, Kan.
Nov. 8 - at Missouri*........................ Columbia, Mo.
Nov. 15 - Nebraska*...................... Manhattan, Kan.
Nov. 22 - Iowa State*..................... Manhattan, Kan.
(*Big 12 conference games)

In full disclosure, I should tell you that not all have been annoyed at the column. Many Kansas State fans were in full agreement, and those emails were actually worse than the angry ones because those people were standing at the edge of full-blown depression, and that's no way to be when your team is still five months away from a kickoff.

Galen from Belton, Missouri, you have the floor ...
"I am a K-State season ticket holder, and I agree with you 100%. Prince is trying to save his job."

It seems that, yes, Kansas State football coach Ron Prince is trying to save his job. What other impression could you get from his signing of 19 junior college transfers and dumping Fresno State from the schedule? Hard to be too upset with him, though. If someone gave you a $750,000 job and said, "Win or it's gone," you'd be inviting the Sun Belt to town, too. If I'm a Kansas State season ticket holder, though, forking over three installments of $6.99, or whatever they charge in the Midwest, I'd be a little annoyed at the devaluation of my entertainment dollar. Can you imagine selling season tickets to Broadway, and before the 2008 theater season, it was announced that, oh by the way, instead of Les Miserables in Week 5, you would be watching two chubby mechanics eat Carl's Jr. chili burgers? I'm not saying Fresno State is Les Mis and Montana State is a couple chubby mechanics (Though I did kind of say that, didn't I?), but as a college football fan, the Bulldogs are a team I want to see in '08. Ryan Mathews at running back. A good passing game. A possibly ranked team.

Still, it still isn't a bad season ticket when you get to see Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Nebraska and Iowa State. There are college football fans who would walk through plate-glass windows to see the Sooners and Cornhuskers in the same season. (Also, there are quite a few college football fans who've walked through plate-glass windows on their own, with absolutely nothing on the line.) Fresno State fans would surely like to see games like that. This year is a rarity. Wisconsin comes to Fresno, and someone at Fresno State says the university from Madison has already purchased 4,000 tickets. It's going to be a good one. Badgers and Bulldogs. Red Wave vs. Bucky Badger. Fresno State administrators are so sure it's going to sell out, they've already devised ways to force you into buying tickets for all the other home games, just to get to see the Wisconsin game. No single tickets will be available, just group packages or season tickets. That's what I'm told. The messenger requests no punches to the face.

We love added bonus material, so here is your 2008 Fresno State schedule, conference games asterisked for your convenience, because that's how the blog rolls...

FRESNO STATE
Sept. 1 - at Rutgers..................... Piscataway, N.J.
Sept. 13 - Wisconsin................................. Fresno
Sept. 20 - at Toledo......................... Toledo, Ohio
Sept. 27 - at UCLA....................... Pasadena, Calif.
Oct. 4 - Hawaii*........................................ Fresno
Oct. 11 - Idaho*........................................ Fresno
Oct. 25 - at Utah State*..................... Logan, Utah
Nov. 1 - at Louisiana Tech*.................. Ruston, La.
Nov. 7 - Nevada*....................................... Fresno
Nov. 15 - New Mexico State*...................... Fresno
Nov. 21 - at San Jose State*........... San Jose, Calif.
Nov. 28 - at Boise State*.................... Boise, Idaho
(*WAC conference games)

Wisconsin pretty much makes the home ticket. Without the Badgers, you'd be buying season passes to watch Hawaii, Nevada, New Mexico State and Idaho. But that's what happens in mid-major land. Can't pay enough to get I-AA games, and the BCS schools can buy out of pretty much any contract to come to your place. Even if you're in the Big East, which we can all hopefully agree is a pretty shoddy football conference, you get seven home games. Observe the Rutgers schedule, which still has a hole to be filled ...

RUTGERS
Sept. 1 - Fresno State................... Piscataway, N.J.
Sept. 11 - North Carolina .............. Piscataway, N.J.
Sept. 20 - at Navy........................... Annapolis, Md.
Sept. 27 - TBA.............................. Piscataway, N.J.
Oct. 4 - at West Virginia*............ Morgantown, W.V.
Oct. 11 - at Cincinnati*.................. Cincinnati, Ohio
Oct. 18 - Connecticut*................... Piscataway, N.J.
Oct. 25 - at Pittsburgh*.................... Pittsburgh, Pa.
Nov. 8 - Syracuse*......................... Piscataway, N.J.
Nov. 15 - at South Florida*................... Tampa, Fla.
Nov. 22 - Army.............................. Piscataway, N.J.
Dec. 4 - Louisville*........................ Piscataway, N.J.
(*Big East conference games)

Now there's good dollar-value for your season ticket: Fresno State, North Carolina and the conference schedule. Can't beat that. And, as an added bonus, you get Army, and who doesn't want to cheer those who serve our country in the armed forces? No seriously. Tell me who. Because I've been instructed by the president to point these people out, so they can be relocated to a special, secret location where people speak an entirely different dialect -- like southern Illinois.

Seriously, though, I cannot describe in words how long it took make all these schedules look the same, and make all those little periods line up. I have literally written columns that won awards in the time it took me to put three schedules on this blog. Henceforth, I'm giving myself the rest of the day off.

Posted by Matt James at 8:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Here's the thing about women ... (Oh, the dangerous possibilities that could follow that intro)

Women like to feel dainty. I'm generalizing. Perhaps female bodybuilders do not want to feel dainty, I don't know. You often see them dating even more gigantic, muscular male body builders, so probably even they want to feel some level of daintiness. This holds true for the majority of women I know, especially ones who consider themselves tall or big-boned. They do not want to date someone like me because I'm short and 150 pounds while holding a toddler, and that would make them, by comparison, feel big and bloated and awkwardly tall, not unlike the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man*. Even if they are in no way big or bloated or awkwardly tall, it's self-perception, usually the worst perception there is.

*One of my favorite movie lines is in that scene when the Mallow Man appears and there's just graveyard silence and "Dr." Peter Venkman says, "Well there's something you don't see every day." So many classic lines in "Ghostbusters." Another favorite: when Harold Ramis is explaining what will happen if they cross the streams, something about all life as they know it ending and every molecule in their bodies exploding, and Venkman goes, "Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon." Of the 100 funniest movie lines in history, Bill Murray has to have five.

The dainty factor is why THIS story about the Lopez twins at Stanford should come as no real threat to anyone's pacemaker. What we're referring to, is the fun little nugget halfway down about the fact that Robin (the one with big hair*) Lopez is dating professional golfer Michelle Wie. She's something like 6-foot-1, so it would take a pretty large person to dwarf her. But she found the guy, 7-foot-1 Robin, a man so large Batman would have to be HIS sidekick. (This is all pointless speculation, of course, Maybe she loves Robin's personality but wishes he was 5-7.)

Having interviewed both the Lopez twins when they were at Memorial High in Fresno, and then at Stanford, it's a little tough to imagine either of them dating. And I mean that as a compliment. They were not the kind of guys who chased the homecoming queen or the head cheerleader. They had tons of friends, which were more likely to be band geeks and chess club members as they were athletes. They're refreshing, just kinda big, goofy, naive, innocent, shy guys; into comics and cartoons and all that. Not the stuff chicks dig. Especially a chick whose public perception is pretty much the opposite of that. Wie, according to an estimate by Fortune Magazine* made $19.5 million in endorsements last year. She allegedly faked an injury in a tournament to avoid shooting a score that would have gotten her banned from the LPGA Tour. Her dad can be overbearing and overprotective. She's gone through nine caddies in the last few years. She plays on exemptions instead of actually having to qualify for the LPGA. Let's just say it. She seems a little high-maintainance. Not the girl I pictured Robin with, but considering his look and size, it's kinda hard to imagine him with anyone.

As I always say when love is in the air, good luck and get prenups.

Posted by Matt James at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Here's the story of what happened to Fresno State linebacker Ryan Machado this offseason. In this blog headline I wrote "sources" because it makes it sound cooler, like maybe wire taps and C.I.A. spies were involved, but it was really just coaches and PR people and someone involved with medicine. How's that for vague?

Apparently, Machado slipped on a step at the Save Mart Center and -- these are the words of Steve Weakland, the Fresno State director of media relations -- "re-did some damage" to the ACL he tore last year at Nevada. I do not know when this occurred or what event he was attending at the Save Mart Center. Billy Joel concert? Women's basketball game? Tattoo exhibition? I have no idea. My sources aren't big on details. I'm trying to find new sources as we speak.

Wednesday was the first spring football practice and Fresno State coach Pat Hill wouldn't say that Machado is out for the season. Since the injury happened midway through last season, it was going to be tight for Machado to return anyway, so you'd have to assume he won't play in 2008. I could be wrong. He's a farm kid, and farm kids are tough. I'll ask again at practice today and see if I can get a dirty look, not that that will help us figure out who will be playing linebacker for the Bulldogs.

Right now the three starting linebackers will probably be Ben Jacobs in the middle, Quaadir Brown on the strong side and then a redshirt freshman on the weak side. I assume the better linebacker always plays on the strong side, but I honestly don't know that for sure. Here are the two leading contenders ...

Kyle Knox - 6-1, 215 pounds; Hometown - Los Angeles.
At one point Kyle was known as Kyle Smith, and I'm not sure why it was changed. Maybe because Kyle Knox sounds tougher. Absolutely everyone loves Kyle Knox, the player, not the name. He's the Jon Stewart of the 2008-2009 Bulldogs. No one is anti-Kyle Knox. I'm sure he's got a great "motor" or "upside" or whatever nonsense football coaches say when they're trying to compliment a player without sounding mushy. Just once I want to hear a coach say, "He hardly ever forgets to screw the gas cap back on after filling up. A lot of guys you'll see driving down the street with the flap closed and the gas cap just dangling in the wind. Not Kyle Knox. He's better than that. And that's why we love him."

Austin Raphael - 6-2, 225; Hometown - Jamestown, Calif.
Austin got hurt last summer in a high school all-star game of some sort. It was a shoulder, maybe an elbow. "Upper body" injury of some sort. (Again, sources are being flogged.) So he didn't play at all for the Bulldogs last fall. The media guide says Austin has great "explosiveness" and "playmaking ability" and "a 13-foot python that once got loose and ate 20 pounds of dogfood." OK, I made that last one up.

You might remember Brown had a run-in with the law last year, and some injuries, so he's perhaps not the most reliable. If Ben Jacobs gets hurt, the entire season is on the Titanic. Hill should put bodyguards around Jacobs at all times, even in practice. No one goes within a 10-foot halo of Jacobs, not even to hand him a water bottle. Not that you want to know this, but Jacobs back-up at this point is sophomore Nico Herron (6-3, 240), who missed half the season last year, and then played some special teams. He's probably a great player and even better guy, but no one on the coaching staff wants to see Nico starting at middle linebacker.

OK, off to practice where we will get some answers to these and other pressing matters concerning a season that is six months away.

Posted by Matt James at 8:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm trying to understand why something happened the way it did. I've always been like that. It's hard for me to just accept that things are the way they are and move forward. "Just because!" is by far the meanest answer a parent can give. As a child, I needed to know why. The reason didn't entirely need to make sense, there just needed to be something, a string of somewhat-reasonable events that led to a result.

How, for instance, did Santa get down the chimney to deliver our presents, especially since we lived in a three-bedroom shack* in the middle of a Kansas wheat field? The house didn't even have a chimney. A chimney would have been too heavy, and our house would have fallen over like the Flintstones car when they delivered the rack of ribs.

(Promise if you stick this out we'll eventually get to Fresno State baseball.)

*There is no "I grew up poor" sob story here. It was definitely middle class. We had baseball mits. What else is there? I think all kids should spend at least part of their childhood growing up in a shack in a Kansas wheat field. It's good for the soul. Lots of soul in Kansas. Bob Dole did it and look how he turned out. War hero. Beautiful, charming wife. Extended professional career. In baseball terms, Bob was the Ted Williams of his era. Also, I think he would have been a first-rate president. My first ever presidential vote, in 1996, went to Mr. Dole. If he had won that election, I swear there would be world peace, zero hunger, and we'd have already inhabited neptune. (And you thought I couldn't avoid the obvious seventh-planet joke. Ha!) OK, where were we? Oh yeah, I also think everyone's first car* should be crappy enough that it needs some sort of regular repair that the father/son or father/daughter or mother/son (you get the idea) have to perform themselves. Oh, and oil changes. Kids should do their own oil changes. And blow out the air filter and check the tire pressure. I say "kids" because I was driving a tractor at age 12 and had a driver's license at 14, but I'm referring to pretty much any teenage year or younger.

But back to the shack in the field. This was a little white house built a long time ago, in the 1560s or something, with droopy tile ceilings, the kind you could throw sharp pencils at and they'd stick up there. Unfortunately, the roof leaked. Well this one winter, the snow on top of the roof piled up and as it melted, it leaked down through the roof and gathered above the tile ceiling. One night, my brother and I heard a crash and a scream I will never forget. The ceiling couldn't hold any more and my parents got a middle-of-the-night, no-warning ice bath from above. I cannot imagine how scary that must have been. They bulldozed that house a few years later. I still miss it a little.

Anyway, all I needed was a decent explanation for how Santa did it -- jets on his sleigh, moms and dads helping, a system of pullies and levers, whatever -- and I was fine with that. I didn't even mind being lied to, just as long as they kept it interesting. The single worst phrase of the 21st century is "It is what it is." Hate it. Who cares if it is what it is? How did it get that way? Why is it that way?

*My first car was a ... 1951 Chevrolet; tan, four-door, brakes usually worked, manufactured without seat belts or turn signals, gear shift on the steering column; "three on the tree," as they say. (You actually had to stick your arm out of the window and signal. It was awesome. And honestly, who needs seat belts when your car weighs 1,836,398,298,375,290,372 pounds?)

Fifth car ... 1997 Dodge Ram; easily my most beloved vehicle. We moved together from Kansas to Chicago, Chicago to Alabama, Alabama to Wisconsin, and then Wisconsin to California. They were all good times in the green machine. Will never forget driving down I-70, the tarp flapping and my possessions flying out into traffic. Mine was the short-bed and entirely dark green. Stereo system I put together myself, great tweeters that just blared the treble. I sold it when I moved to California and bought an engagement ring. Don't ever, ever do that. Somewhere, someone is rocking out in that truck and all I have is this blog. OK, that's not true. I have a car now, a fun car, but it just doesn't have character like these others Maybe someday.

The point of all of this is, I've been trying to figure out why the Fresno State baseball team has been so mediocre. It was supposed to be good. It had good returning pitching. It had good hitters. I swore in a column the Bulldogs were going to be good. Yet when the Bulldogs beat Cal-Poly Wednesday, 13-11, that was the first they've been at .500 since the first week of the season. They are 12-12 now. Let's try to figure out how this has happened.

It's especially remarkable when you consider how many quality starts the Bulldogs have gotten. As far as major league baseball is concerned, a quality start means going six innings and giving up three runs or less. In their 24 games, the Bulldogs have gotten 15 quality starts. If you were to adjust the quality-start standard for the college game -- which I think we should, to account for aluminum bats and shorter fences and just generally lesser defense -- by reducing the number of innings to five, then Fresno State would have two more. That's 17 quality starts of 24 total. If you look at the other seven, junior Justin Miller gave up just one run in 3 innings against UC-Davis, then he gave up two runs in 1 2/3 innings against Portland, then he gave up two runs in 4 1/3 against Hawaii (clearly, Justin Miller is built for the short, yet psuedo-quality, start), and finally, Holden Sprague gave up two runs in 4 innings against Cal-Poly.

What we're saying here, is that out of 24 starts, Fresno State starters have only really tanked three times. With as many home games as they've had (16), they should be 18-6-ish. AT LEAST. But they aren't. Obviously, something is going wrong. Let's start with relief pitching...

The Bulldogs have six pitchers who have strictly thrown in relief. Senior Brandon Burke has thrown most of the innings, 29 of them, with a 3.41 ERA, 16 K's and 9 walks. Not bad numbers. The other five -- junior Kris Tomlinson, freshman Jake Floethe, freshman Gene Escat, senior Jake Hower and senior Jason Breckley -- have together thrown 32 innings with an era of 10.125. Not sure why I needed to stretch it out to that third decimal point, it just seemed more dramatic. They have 23 walks in those 32 innings. Not quality relief work, by any stretch. There's a big part of the problem.

Before we forget, here are the starters' numbers ...

Tanner Scheppers - (Jr.; 6 starts, 6 appearances) - 1.89 ERA, 3-2 record, 55K, 9W
Justin Miller - (Jr.; 5 starts, 8 app.) - 2.05 ERA, 3-0 record, 20K, 16W
Holden Sprague - (Jr.; 3 starts, 10 app.) - 3.54 ERA, 0-2 record, 20K, 6W
Clayton Allison - (Sr.; 5 starts, 6 app.) - 3.82 ERA, 1-2 record, 16K, 6W
Justin Wilson - (Jr.; 5 starts, 6 app.) - 5.34 ERA, 2-3 record, 27K, 17W

Clearly, the starting pitchers are not the problem. Tanner Scheppers has been about as untouchable as your mom's good china. Secondly, I can't believe I have enough free time to calculate quality starts for all 24 of Fresno State's baseball games, but apparently I do. Just wait until tomorrow when we talk Bulldogs hitters. And, hopefully, we'll throw together some road/home and night/day statistical comparisons. One more time: tell your friends. More useless information, you will not find anywhere.

Posted by Matt James at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The blog has received many, many upset emails concerning ESPN's or Comcast's or Dish Network's or whomever's snafu it was that led to Fresno State' first-round NCAA Tournament game not being televised in Fresno. Instead, everyone got to watch the George Washington women vs. the Auburn women, which in some countries is a punishment for moderate crimes, such as kidnapping or murder or conspiring to blow up the universe.

Not that the blog doesn't love George Washington ladies' hoops*.

*On the one-in-a-kabillion, Jim-Carrey-in-"Dumb-and-Dumber" chance that you didn't watch this one until the end, George Washington pulled it out, 66-56.

In a marketing/public-relations/just-generally-good-business sense sort of way, you'd think you'd want to televise the local team's game ... uh ... locally, but maybe that's why we're not in television. We just don't understand the technical subtleties of the industry. Here's the Fresno Bee story on what happened, not that it explains a lot. Shockingly, no executive was volunteering to run into the barbed wire fence for the good of the group. Doubtful that you'd want to read 2,000 words of sports fans complaining (not that it isn't justified), so we'll just post this one email ...

"Thanks so much ESPN2 and Comcast for bringing us a few seconds of the referees butts while they were looking at a replay of the Bulldogs first NCAA Game!

"Bob Francque
Clovis"

So there you have it. Even moms in Sacramento couldn't watch the game. And before we get too far away from this, can I just say that I'm going to start using the phrase "kick in the cup" on a regular basis? Kudos, Bob. Kudos.

He's right, though. Can you imagine if that game had gone to OT, or Fresno State had won, or there was a buzzerbeater? If you'd seen the game in person, as this blog did, you know how far that was from happening, but still, can you imagine? There would have been rioting* in the streets, I tell you. And so much for the national exposure this was supposed to give the program.

*Why is it that we feel the need to explain where rioting occurs? Like there are so many options than the streets for such ... [warning, warning, made-up word quickly approaching] ... shenanigannary, that we have to specify where it's taking place? Where else can you riot? Ice cream shops? Roller rinks? Back in the '60s, OK, people were rioting everywhere. Or at least protesting. These days, no one protests, and when we do, it isn't even creative. How about we just assume all rioting occurs on streets, unless otherwise designated.

If you were wondering, immediately after finishing a column, the blog was back on a plane from Albuquerque to Vegas, where the blog's sleep-deprived friends hardly noticed the return. I'm now back in Fresno, and can commence resting up for next year's Vegas trip.

Fresno State fans will be further frustrated to hear that all the blog's friends were able to watch the game in Las Vegas in the MGM sports book. There's one place it was actually shown. Not that the blog's friends were Fresno State fans, they just wanted to make sure there hadn't been an upset and I was actually coming back to Vegas. You may now begin hitting your head against the cold tile floor.

Posted by Matt James at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Looks like the blog is heading back to Vegas. Baylor advances, 88-67, against Fresno State. The Lady Bears were just bigger, better, taller, all that and a bag of chips. The Bulldogs needed to be near perfect, and they were closer to average. That would be my two-sentence column, if they would let me write two-sentence columns.

Final stats ...

Fresno State leaders: Tierre Wilson - 23 points, six rebounds. Emma Andrews - 15 points, three rebounds. Jaleesa Ross - 10 points, four rebounds. (Although Ross was just 4-of-18 from the field.)

Baylor leaders: Angela Tisdale - 26 points. Rachel Allison - 21 points. Melissa Jones - 14 points, 14 rebounds. Jessica Morrow - 11 points. Danielle Wilson - 10 points, 13 rebounds.

Rebounding totals: Fresno State 40, Baylor 49.

Shooting: Fresno State 35.5%, Baylor 44.4%.

Here's the stat of the game: 3-point shooting. Fresno State 3-of-17.

That's a wrap. Back to the column you can read in tomorrow's Bee. It will probably be the greatest thing you've ever read, and in no way affected by the fact that I have to be on a plane in three hours.

Posted by Matt James at 2:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- For some reason, the New Mexico State fans have adopted the Wyoming women's basketball team. They just went nuts when the Cowgirls came in and sat in the stands. And then they cheered like crazy when they left. Maybe these dry, deserted states stick together. After being in Vegas, and now here, the blogs lips feel like they've been blow-dried for about 9 straight hours. Parched doesn't begin to explain it.

Baylor has started putting in the scrubs now. Probably not what you'd consider scrubs, but at least the players who sit the bench at Baylor. Probably all-state players at whatever state they're from.

Score update: Baylor 81, Fresno State 59. Those of you with bets have to be getting nervous.
There's 3:33 left in the game.

The Pitt band is sitting at one end, and for a while there they were heckling Baylor. They've stopped. It's not looking good.

Posted by Matt James at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Blog #1, second half

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- OK, I've attempted to talk to the local ESPN producer, a guy who is not interested in talking to a reporter during the game. Something about a job to do. Understandable.

Now I'm being told by folks back in Fresno that the game isn't being shown on satellite TV either. I'm getting mixed reports. Maybe Dish Network and DirecTV are showing different games. Who knows. It's definitely a programming error on someone's part. I'm told the decision was made in Bristol, Conn., though, so don't yell at anyone at the cable company. They want you watching their ESPN2 as much as you want it.

Fresno State athletic director Thomas Boeh says it's a matter of someone flipping a switch in Bristol. I cannot varify that, orThomas Boeh's technical knowlege of the television industry. If they ever do flip the switch, someone tell me so I can stop blogging about. Go figure, the first time the Fresno State women get on ESPN, they can't really get on ESPN.

Game update: Baylor 73, Fresno State 52. Time remaining: 8:35, second half.

Dogs still missing a lot of easy shots.

Posted by Matt James at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Since there are a lot of people trying to find out the score of this game, I'll keep updating it regularly.

Second half. 17:32 left.

Baylor 47, Fresno State 32

Posted by Matt James at 12:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Blog No. 4, first half

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- The Bulldogs look nervous. You had to expect that, but not to this degree. Tierre Wilson just shot a free throw that looked like Phil Neikro shot it. Emma Andrews is missing layups. Lots of stupid turnovers. It's the program's first NCAA appearance so I guess that comes along with it. As far as these young women know, everyone back in Fresno is watching. We now know they aren't. ESPN isn't showing it. Maybe I should go tell them. It might help. Nah, the blog will just stay here, slowly sipping my diet Coke from an NCAA cup, those giving the cameramen (and women) ample time to catch it for a national viewing audience. (You know, if there was one.)

On a bright note, Fresno State is hanging around. Sort of. It's 43-28. Halftime. I didn't quite make five blogs. Wonder if I can carry that extra one over to the second half, like unused vacation time.

There's a good crowd here, by the way, but it's almost impossible to figure out how many Fresno State fans there are because they're wearing red and so are the New Mexico fans, who are here early for their team's 6:30 p.m. game against the No. 5 seed, West Virginia. Not exactly sure how the No. 12 seed got to host a regional, but it did. There aren't nearly as many Baylor fans as I figured there would be. I realize it's about a 10-hour drive from Waco, Texas, to here, but it's gotta be a cheap flight from Dallas to Albuquerque, even on a few days notice. Maybe since the Baylor men finally made an NCAA Tournament, everyone went with them.

Here are your halftime leaders...

Fresno State: Tierre Wilson - 9 points, Jaleesa Ross - 7, LaShaunte Stephens - 4.
Baylor: Angela Tisdale - 16, Jessica Morrow - 7, Rachel Allison - 7.

First-half field goal percentage: Baylor - 37.5%, Fresno State - 36.7%.

You would think by those numbers that Fresno State would be in it, but Baylor is just too tall and getting to the free throw line a lot. Ten of 12 from the line. And outrebounding Fresno State 26-19. not good. The Bulldogs are 2-of-9 on 3-pointers. That will have to improve if the Bulldogs hope to get back in this.

Just got word that if you have one of the dish companies, you are able to watch the Fresno State game right now. If you have Comcast, you're not getting it. Don't call Comcast. Believe me, they know. People are calling. Apparently, all that has to happen is for someone to hit a button, but it just isn't happening. My suggestion is to just drive around until you see someone with a little dish on the roof of their house, walk up and hand them a $100 bill. Or, a 12-pack. Watch the game at a stranger's house. It'll feel like you're in a Vegas sports book. Except the cocktail waitresses won't be as scantily dressed. Or maybe they will. Depends on whose house you go to.

I'm told the line on this game was Baylor -22.5 last night, and moved down -20 this morning at the MGM. People must have been betting Fresno State. This blog wouldn't know anything about that.

Posted by Matt James at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Blog No. 3, first half

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Well, Fresno State fans. I have some bad news and some worse news. Worse news first: Baylor 27, Fresno State 14; 7:53 left, first half. And, word back from the home office is that they aren't showing this game on ESPN2. They're showing Auburn vs. George Washington, and based on the number of calls the Bee office is getting, there is relatively little interest in the Fresno area in either Auburn or George Washington women's basketball. Shocker.

You can call the Fresno Bee office to complain, but surprisingly, we have little control over which NCAA game ESPN decides to show. They don't even ask our opinion.

This blog might be your only means to updates, and I'm down to two blogs left this half. Yikes. See if you can find a radio.

The Pit is cool, by the way. I've always wanted to see a game here -- I didn't think it would be Fresno State women's basketball, but what can ya do? -- and it's excellent. The ends of the arena have bench seating, which I've always maintained is the best for college basketball. Allen Fieldhouse has bench seating, and it just makes everything better. You get to pack more people in, makes you bond with your neighbors, has cute co-eds sitting on your lap (Hey, it was college.)

I always wondered how The Pit felt any more like a pit than any other arena. I mean, you don't know you're underground when you're inside the building, right? But it does feel that way. It just seems kinda dark. The only light out in the crowd is up at the very top of the place. I can imagine how a packed Pit might be louder than Grand Funk Railroad. That's an old fogey reference. Kids, ask your parents. It was a three-man band from the '70s that was really loud. I'm told. I'm not old enough to remember either. They had that song, "We're an American Band," which was solid in a my-eardrums-just-exploded kind of way.

Fresno State has cut the lead to 33-21. Four minutes left in the first half.

Posted by Matt James at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Blog #2, first half (You'll understand in a second.)

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- The blog will probably get banned just for that headline alone. I honestly would not be surprised if someone from the NCAA is monitoring this right now. I had to sign a release form to be able to blog. No lie. It's a one-page agreement that I probably should have read better. There are rules about what I can write about, how many times I can blog per half (5), how many times I can blog at halftime (1), and probably a rule a rule about calling the NCAA obsessive and crazy in a blog headline. Of well. You gotta take risks in life.

I just paid for the internet connection with the company credit card (thank you, Bee) and of course the NCAA dishes those connections out for $16 and change per day. No other option unless you've got one of those handy Verizon cards, which I do not. Well then I tried to walk down to the court with a Coke in my hand and a security guard said I couldn't do that. Oh, I figured, there must be no drinks allowed down by the court. I've never been to The Pit before. No, that wasn't it. You're just not allowed to have anything courtside that doesn't have an NCAA logo on it. They handed me an NCAA cup, sponsored by Dasani, and I poured my Coke into it. I couldn't possibly me making that up. Wow.

I like the fact that the NCAA is keeping me from working too excessively. (Not that I've ever blogged five times in a half. What am I, a machine?) My editors will never believe me if I don't bring back a copy of the agreement. Maybe I should get the NCAA to negotiate my next contract. Mr. James and/or his blog agree to no more than five columns per month.

Posted by Matt James at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

No. 14 Fresno State vs. No. 3 Baylor

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- The blog has landed in New Mexico, again, for hopefully the last time in the spring of 2008. I should seriously just get an apartment and a driver's license here. I'm sitting court side, Fresno State and Baylor are warming up, and I have an initial thought. Holy cow, Baylor is tall. That's the bad news. I'm not sure what the good news is, but I'll look for some. Baylor's players who are listed at 5-10 look taller than Erica Henry, who's listed at 6-2.

Here's the scoop on the blog. The blog was supposed to be in Vegas all week for the NCAA Tournament, pretty much the only vacation the blog takes on a yearly basis. But of course that was blown up when the Fresno State women won the WAC Tournament and are now in the NCAAs. Good for them. Bad for the blog. So instead of just cancelling the Vegas trip (there are too many old friends involved to really cancel the trip anyway), the blog drove to Vegas Wednesday, did the Vegas thing for three days, flew out of Vegas Friday night, landed at midnight, crashed in a hotel and I'm now courtside for a the noon Saturday game. Yeah, the blog burns it from all ends. I should really be wearing dogtags listing my bloodtype, just in case I pass out on press row from exhaustion.

Vegas is just not conducive to rest or relaxation, especially when you spend 99.6% of every day in the MGM sports book. It's like getting to watch every single game of the entire first two rounds with 3,000 of your best friends. There are no strangers in the sports book. The blog, literally, did not see the sun for almost three days. Not gambling excessively, of course. The blog would never do that. (The blog's mother sometimes reads here.) If Fresno State wins, pulls this miraculous upset, I'll be here until the bitter end. If the Bulldogs lose this one, I'm back on a plane to Vegas at 6:30 p.m. today. Gotta salvage the last day of the vacation.

Fresno State winning would be awesome, a great story, but it would seriously make life chaotic. I didn't even bring my suitcase. It's still in Vegas. I have one change of clothes. You should have seen the look on the security guard's face when he opened my backpack and the first thing he saw was a used pair of boxers. The pretty much ended the bag search. Move it along, sir.

Posted by Matt James at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

OK, so by now you know that the Fresno State women's basketball team won the WAC Tournament. Confetti flares went off, people hugged, trophies were passed out, and pretty much no one cheered because it was in New Mexico and everyone there was kinda hoping the New Mexico State Aggies would win. They pretty much had no shot. The Bulldogs played the worst half you can imagine and still beat them by 16 on their own court.

In my opinion, Erica Henry was the MVP of the final, as evidenced by my entire column about her in Sunday's paper. As if on cue, she wasn't named to the all-tournament team, illustrating my point that she is always underappreciated. She's not what you would call a great player, but at times she does exactly what the Bulldogs need, rebound, take charges, play pretty good defense. The Bulldogs who did make the all-tourney team were senior Tierre Wilson, freshman Emma Andrews and freshman Jaleesa Ross, the tournament MVP. All had good tournaments, obviously. (Not sure what made me type that last sentence.) Hayley Munro would have made it, probably in place of Andrews or Wilson, but she had a pretty blah final game.

Maybe it was the dominating way they won the final, or just the personality of the team, but it was probably the most subdued celebration you could imagine for a team that just became the first in the history of its school's program to make the NCAA Tournament. Forty-some years of Fresno State women's basketball without a tournament, and then they just kinda high-five and smile and hug and stuff. No one even jumped. Maybe it's the fact that they have so many low-key personalities. Players who live in their own little worlds. Tierre Wilson was the MVP of the WAC regular season and up until this year's tournament had no idea who Jaycee Carroll was. He would be the men's MVP of the same conference, the one they've both been playing in for four years.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's good to be insulated, a little understated, especially this time of year. When you want your team to avoid nervousness. Especially since Fresno State found out Monday they will be a huge underdog, No. 14 seed in the NCAAs, playing No. 3 Baylor in Albuquerque, N.M. A buddy of mine saw the brackets today and wrote me an email with the subject line: "have you gotten your New Mexico drivers license and voter ID yet?" Indeed, I'm spending so much time in New Mexico*, they should have let me vote in their primary. Not that you needed to know, but the blog voted for Barack Obama in the California primary. My voting location was barely a block away, a church in eastern Fresno, yet I still barely got there in time, pretty much the last person to vote in the state. If it weren't for the last minute, I'd get nothing done. Not sure what scares me about Hillary Clinton, but she ... oh, wait. Yes I do. Go to YouTube.com right now and search for "Hillary" and "cackles." I can't have my President laughing like that. Sorry, I just can't. Call me petty, but it's a crazy, fake laugh and I can't respect people who laugh insincerely**. Laughter is too important to be used as mockery. Also, I think typing LOL when you didn't actually Laugh Out Loud, should be a $500 fine.

*Ten points to anyone who can guess the state nickname of New Mexico. Not the state motto. That's different. For example, Kansas is "The Sunflower State," Florida is "The Sunshine State," etc. Kansas' state motto is "Ad astra per aspera," or "To the stars through difficulties." The state motto of Florida is, "Watch out for our elderly drivers." Maybe we should do the New Mexico state motto as well. Ten points for that, too. Don't just Google it. Take a wild guess! Entertain us a little here. Yes, you'll still get 10 points if you Google it, but you'll feel so much better if you tell us New Mexico is "The Moon-Boot State," and its motto is "You could easily bury a body here."

**One of this blog's favorite shows is "Scrubs," a show known for its cameos. One show had Mandy Moore, the singer/actress on it as the latest girlfriend of Zach Braff's character, "J.D." It seems Moore's character would always say, "That's so funny," to everything J.D. said, but she never actually laughed. This kinda drove J.D. crazy, and in the end, he had to dump her over it. Obviously reasonable. After the breakup, she is out in the yard at a party, being consoled by other females, and J.D. says to Turk -- at least I think it was Turk -- something like, "You'll notice she's not saying, 'That's so sad.' She's actually crying." Classic line. I think that's my problem with Hillary, besides the fact that she never dumped Bill for all his cheating. How am I supposed to know when she actually finds something funny if she's cackling at every question from a reporter? OK, no more politics.

I'm not actually in Las Cruces any more. Got back to Fresno late Sunday night because I took the later, "Look, it's cheaper!" flight out of El Paso, with a stop in Vegas, and so I was stuck in the hotel and airports for most of the day. It did lead to an exchange between an Idaho reporter and I, where we discussed Dr. Seuss and how that movie "Horton Hears a Who" is No. 1 at the box office, and the next thing I knew, I was writing a "Green Eggs and Ham" tribute column on how if I were a No. 3 seed in the Women's NCAA Tournament, I wouldn't want to play Fresno State in the first round. Not sure if it worked, but got some good compliments on it today, mostly from women over the age of 55, which I'll take any day of the week. Women over the age of 55 care about grammer, so I respect their comments. Here it is. (I'd have just put a link to it, but for whatever reason, italics don't show up when my columns are posted online.)

If I were a No. 3 seed in the Women's NCAA Tournament, with apologies to Dr. Seuss ...

I would not like them, in Round 1.
I would not like them, not for fun.
I would not like them, here or there.
I would not like them, anywhere.
---
Not with a lead.
Not with their speed.
Not in a race.
Not at THAT pace.
---
I'll watch today, the selection show.
Don't give me Fresno, I might not go.
I played so well, now what's my fate?
How 'bout a shot, at Jackson State?
---
They're winning now, I've seen their score.
I do not want them, on any floor.
Not at Stanford, or Baton Rouge.
They might not know, they're s'pose to lose.
---
That Emma, Hayley, and Miss Ross.
Too many threes, they stop to toss.
You say they're frosh, it isn't right.
Don't make me boycott, out of spite.
---
I would not like them, in Round 1.
Don't make me use an awful pun.
I do not like, that Bulldog red.
How about 'giving me Liberty' instead?
---
I would not like them, here at home.
I would not like them, up in Nome.
I would not like them, on the road.
I'm a No. 3, I've earned a toad.
---
Would you like them, shooting fast?
Would you like them, here at last?
I would not like, a tough first game.
If you were me, you'd say the same.
---
Not with their press.
No need for that stress.
Not in the Tourney.
At least not that early.
---
Would you, could you, play them first?
I would not, could not, think of worse.
Would you, could you, make them a 10?
I would not, could not, ask again.
---
Forgive me if, I'm being rude.
They played ranked teams, their record's skewed.
Would you like them, in your way?
At College Park, or the San Fran Bay?
---
Wilson's fast, there is no lack.
She's MVP, helped win the WAC.
I do not want, her flashy style.
I'd rather our starters, rested a while.
---
They have not been, this far before.
They're a winner, a part of lore.
They have it all, the vets and rooks.
Give me a team, that's good with books.
---
I would not like them, in Round 1.
I would not like them, on the run.
Would you, could you, keep them away?
I would not, could not, start this way.
---
Not in a gym! Not on a whim!
Not in the lane! Not in vane!
Not in a scrap! Not in a trap!
Not in gladness! Not in the Madness!
---
I do not like them, here or there.
I do not like them, anywhere.
I do not like, Bulldogs that can.
I do not like them, No. 3-I-am.

The men's final was much more exciting, and I'm so glad I stayed for the end of it. (Not sure what else I'd have done in Las Cruces on a Saturday night, but still, I'm glad.) Boise State beat New Mexico State in three overtimes. It was an absurd game, with so many big shots that it would take 1,000 words to explain it all. Boise's Reggie Larry was unstoppable. He's like a skinnier Charles Barkley. He shuts down players two, three, four inches taller than him on a regular basis. Can't believe how many shots he blocks. Their guards hit big 3-pointer after big 3-pointer. On a neutral court, the Broncos win that game easily, but in Las Cruces, New Mexico definitely had an advantage. As the game went on and the noise become nearly painful, the referees really let the rough play go. New Mexico State's full-court press was hands-on, let's just say that. The fight for rebounding position was a full-on shoving match. Loose balls would result in at least five people lying on the floor. New Mexico State got a lot of favorable calls, and at least two were plays where Broncos fouled out. I think I can say that guilt free, since I have no connection to Boise State or New Mexico State.

The blog spoke to Fresno State AD Thomas Boeh today at the made-for-TV, Selection-Show-watching-gathering today at the university. What an odd event that was, the media sitting around waiting for the team's reaction to the name of their school being flashed on a TV screen. Exciting stuff, let me tell you. There wasn't even the drama of whether they would make it or not, since they were an automatic berth and everybody pretty much knew they were going to be a No. 14 seed. And sure enough, Fresno State was one of the last schools named, so there was plenty of awkward silence and sitting through commercials. I guess there was a sort of tension-filled moment when they announced that Maryland was a No. 1 seed, which meant Stanford would be the No. 2 seed, which meant Fresno State might have been placed as the No. 15 seed, playing at Stanford, against Stanford. That would have been scary. Not that Baylor isn't good, and not that Waco, Texas, isn't close to Albuquerque*, N.M., so it will be a lot like a home game, but still, better than playing Stanford at its gym.

*Just looked it up. It's 700 miles from Waco to Albuquerque. Wow. How many times per day can this blog be amazed at the size of Texas? The answer is nearly 5. That's a lot of hours in the car. Still, you'd have to expect Baylor fans will make the trip more easily than Bulldogs fans.

Almost forgot about Thomas Boeh. He said he was glad neither New Mexico State team won the tournament, not because he has some personal vendetta against the Aggies, but because now he says when the athletic directors argue for a neutral site for the tournament for 2011 and 2012, "It won't seem like sour grapes." Good point. He was one of four ADs in the WAC who were willing to pay extra to have the tournament in Salt lake City instead of Reno for 2009 and 2010. Unfortunately, five wanted to pay less, so it's going to Reno. Having the tournament on someone's home court is too much of an advantage. Still can't believe Boise State won there. That team is tough. There's a good upset pick for NCAA Tournament. Boise State beats Louisville in Round 1. All my picks, coming soon.

Posted by Matt James at 9:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

LAS CRUCES, N.M. -- Western Athletic Conference commissioner Karl Benson held a press conference and answered reporters' questions. I have no idea which day that happened. I don't even know what day it is now, but fortunately, I took notes.

Here's how it went.

First, Benson talked about Las Cruces. (The tournament was held here last year, too.) "Thus far," Benson said, "I would say the review is just as positive as it was last year."

He talked about how cool it is to hold the tournament in a small city where it's the biggest event in town and most of the community gets behind it and takes pride in it. (The blog thinks it would be a lot cooler to hold it in a city with a building taller than 2 stories.)

There is a big push by the WAC coaches to move the tournament to a neutral site because it's such an advantage for the host school. The WAC has never had a neutral site, mostly because attendance is better at a conference school arena.

The No. 2-seeded New Mexico State men won last year and if they win again this year, some are saying the Aggies simply bought their way into the NCAA Tournament two years in a row by putting in the best bid for the tournament. If you'll recall, the New Mexico State women nearly won last year, too, even though they were the No. 7 seed. They lost 49-46 to Boise State in the final.

One of the biggest proponents of a neutral site is Utah State coach Stew Morrill. That should come as no surprise, since his team lost last year's tournament title game to the host school, New Mexico State, 72-70, and lost the 2006 tournament title game to that year's host school, Nevada, in overtime. On a neutral court, Utah State probably wins both of those games.

Here's a clip of last year's title game here in Las Cruces.

Quick aside ...
Yesterday, the blog tried to make small talk with Nevada coach Mark Fox, which did not go well. It never does. He ducked his head and walked off as if I were a homeless guy begging for change. I have a perfect starting point for conversation with him because we're both originally from southwest Kansas. That alone has to be worth 5 minutes of chatting. But I haven't even gotten far enough to work that in. He always walks off. In fairness, his team was playing the next game, so he probably had plenty on his mind. Can I just say that for 39 years old, the guy looks really fit? The reporters who cover his team regularly say he's actually a decent guy, but he's a dictator when it comes to his team. Getting interviews is nearly impossible. And who can forget last year when Fox was reprimanded for berating referees after a WAC tournament game here in Las Cruces. And of course there was THIS classic, when he bumped the referee at a Utah State game. There was really no reason for this quick aside. I just wanted to show that referee clip.

So anyway, Benson broke the news that the Orleans Arena in Las Vegas had tried to get the WAC Tournament for 2009 and 2010, and the coaches and athletic directors had been in support, but the WAC board of directors shot it down because of queaziness about the gambling aspect. Instead, the next two years went to Reno, whose bid was much lower than runner-up Salt Lake City. The decision between Salt Lake City, a neutral, but much more expensive site, and Reno, came down to a 5-4 vote by athletic directors. (Benson said the Save Mart Center in Fresno had also made a bid.) Reno is different than Vegas, apparently, as a gambling entity, because its an on-campus tournament there, not out in public where the gambling rage just takes hold of a man and turns him into a betting robot.

Benson said the neutral sites that will likely be considered for the 2010 and 2011 WAC Tournaments are Sacramento, Las Vegas and Salt Lake City.

The next subject was television appearances. The WAC men's basketball coaches are not happy about how little the conference is on ESPN. The reasons are explained in this great story by Idaho Statesman reporter Nick Jezierny, who covers the Boise State men's basketball team. For those too busy to click the link, apparently a couple seasons ago ESPN wanted to put some of the WAC football games on ESPNU, instead of ESPN or ESPN2. The WAC, though, didn't like that, and held the network to a literal version of the contract. So ESPN said fine, we'll stick to a literal version of the basketball contract, too, which
states they only have put three WAC basketball games on TV per season. It's a tad petty, but it's what they're doing. The WAC is trying to renegotiate the current contract, but ESPN won't pay as much as the WAC wants, so they're at a stand-off.

Before the blog forgets, we should point out that Nick Jezierny is the only media member who preseason picked the Fresno State women's basketball team to win the WAC. I know, because he's sitting three seats away from me right now on press row. As I type this, Boise State and New Mexico State are going to overtime in the men's final. The Bulldogs won the women's final here this afternoon and are going to their first NCAA Tournament. ESPN currently has them projected as a No. 13 seed. More on that later. Poke around our web site and watch the video clips of today's celebration.

This is the part of the column where I roast the current tournament site. Benson said critics of Las Cruces said it was too expensive for travel, and too difficult to get to. He did not mention the wind or the smell, which I thought was kind of him. Las Cruces is about four decent restaurants away from being a low-end Peoria, Illinois. They should put all the prisons here. No one would ever try to escape. No event should be held here that isn't a rodeo or a monster truck rally. NASCAR is too high-brow for Las Cruces. Next year, it will be missed like a colon infection.

OK, I'm out of material. This men's final is going to triple-OT and my ears are bleeding.

Posted by Matt James at 9:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

LAS CRUCES, N.M. -- During Thursday's Utah State game, the blog went up into the crowd and met the Aggies' new athletic director, Scott Barnes. (Thanks to KMJ's Bill Woodward, the voice of the Bulldogs, for pointing him out.)

Barnes played for Fresno State in '83-'84 and '84-'85, after transferring from Division II Eastern Montana. He was also a Bulldog for the '82-'83 season, but had to sit out that season because of transfer rules. He met Fresno State coach Boyd Grant at a basketball clinic.

Here's a quick Scott Barnes history, as best I could cobble it together while he and the other Aggies cheered for Utah State ...

(OK, Barnes isn't an Aggie quite yet. He starts the job March 28.)

- Barnes is born in Spokane, Wash.

- Barnes has a solid, fingers-in-the-mouth whistle, which he used towards the end of Thursday's Utah State game.

And I think that pretty much catches you up on the life of Scott Barnes, soon-to-be AD at Utah State. Even though I've only been there once, it's hard to argue that Logan, Utah, would be a beautiful place to live. If your goal is to see as many U2 concerts as possible, then it's probably not the place for you.

The cheerleading program alone would be reason enough to enroll there. (A sports information type person from Utah State says that contrary to popular belief, all the students there are not as pretty as the cheerleaders. The blog refuses to believe that.)

Posted by Matt James at 7:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

JOURNEY TO THE WAC TOURNEY

(Not as windy as the severe storm warnings make it seem.)

LAS CRUCES, N.M. -- You must realize, by now, that I've fallen hopelessly behind on blogging, but alas, I have not given up. There is hope, and to prove that, I'm delivering on a promise from Wednesday. Here's the 1-to-10 pain rating for guard Tierre Wilson. You may remember she took a hard fall in the Bulldogs' first-round win against San Jose State. I thought it was just her hip and elbow, but turns out it was much more. The next day (Thursday) she was aching all over. Hip. Elbow. Arm. Shoulder. Back. It all hurt. She had what looked like an extra-thick shammy, wedged between her side and her chair here at the Pan Am Center. She winced often.

I found her across the gym during the men's Fresno State game, and when I posed the pain question, I was expecting her to say 1 or 2 or 3 at most. She said her shoulder was a 7. Her hip was a 4, and the other parts were somewhere between. If you were wondering, this blog just landed the flu last night and is currently about an 8 all over. Swollen throat. Already looking for somewhere to yack later on. But we push on.

The Fresno State women's game just started here at the Pan Am, the Friday noon game. Once again they've bused in school children who are now fillling at least half the arena. You've never heard anything as piercingly loud as this blog is currently experiencing. It's not helping the flu. For whatever reason, the kids have chosen to mostly cheer for the Fresno State Bulldogs instead of the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs, probably because Fresno State has cheerleaders and a band. They just announced there are $2 margaritas on the second floor, which is weird because of the few thousand people who are here, only about a dozen are old old enough to drink. Believe me, though, those dozen people need tequila.

These kids are absolutely on crack-cocaine. They just counted down the pregame clock in unison like it was the end of the game. This could be interesting. OK, blog has to pretend to be a columnist again.

Posted by Matt James at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

JOURNEY TO THE WAC TOURNEY

(If Utah State didn't have a cheerleading program, this blog would be 5% more productive.)

... still Thursday

Men's first round

2:30 p.m. game: No. 1 Utah State (12-4, 23-9) vs. No. 8 San Jose State (4-12, 13-18)
[edit] Utah State 85, San Jose State 65

LAS CRUCES, N.M. -- Congratulations to whomever answered yesterday's trivia, the name of the "Peanuts" song and its writer. No idea if it's correct. Will check that later. Still, congratulations for playing. Participation is cool. For you blog readers still on the sidelines, there will be more questions in the days to come. We're taking it to the next level, whatever that is.

The highlight of this game was the Utah State students chanting "Jaycee's winning. Jaycee's winning." Because, literally, Jaycee Carroll was beating San Jose State by himself. He had 14 points midway through the first half. The Spartans had 11. That was at least 9 or 10 minutes into the game. I think Carroll hit his first four shots and the game was pretty much over. When they double-team Carroll, it leaves the other guard Tyler Newbold open and he's already hit several 3-pointers. Utah State is going to win easily.

For someone Carroll's size to be able to score like that is incredible. He now has 10 of Utah State's all-time record, which is apparently a record itself. He scored 24 points in this game and now has 2,487 career points. He just passed Danny Ainge (2,467) and Nick Fazekas (2464) on the all-time scoring list.

As far as I can tell, here is the updated all-time WAC scoring list...

Keith Van Horn, Utah - 2,542 pts.
Jaycee Carroll, Utah State - 2,487
Danny Ainge, BYU - 2,467
Nick Fazekas, Nevada - 2464

If Utah State makes the NCAA Tournament or the NIT -- and its already guaranteed at least an NIT bid because the Aggies were the No. 1 seed -- then Carroll could realistically pass Van Horn and become the state of Utah's all-time leading college scorer. If that makes sense. Carroll will not, technically, ever be the WAC's all-time leading scorer because Utah State didn't join the