She finished!

Kelly Cronin, who is actually from New England but we're claiming her because she's lived in Yosemite National Park for the last 10 years, finished the Western States 100 ... because she's crazy. No, no. She's not crazy. It was just there, a 100-mile race, one of life's great challenges, and you can only watch so many cartoons, so she got out there and conquered and destroyed and is probably now wishing she could take a six-day nap in Han Solo's freezer chamber.

We will say "probably," because there has been no return call from her yet. But according to the official results of the official Web site, she finished in 26 hours, 16 minutes and 36 seconds. So she did not make her goal of 24 hours -- the cutoff for the coveted silver belt buckle -- which you know all about if you read the column about Kelly last week.

You might also remember that was the column in which we learned the highest peak in South America is Aconcagua, a mountain that is 22,841feet tall, but needs a better publicist. (Feel free to use that random geography fact at a party or small gathering to impress someone with a cute smile.) A look around the internet results in this quote: "Aconcagua is often underestimated which has resulted in serious injuries and death, mostly on the normal route."

First off, who is underestimating a 22,841-foot mountain?!?! Like there are couples in their 60s, starting the ascent in flip-flops and matching Hawaiian shirts? Another thing. There are enough people climbing a 22,000-foot mountain that there needs to be more than one route? The regular route is too boring? Not scenic enough?

But we have wandered off topic. It seems 392 runners started the 100-mile foot race and 270 finished, a pretty good percentage compared to last year. Kelly was 134th, and ninth in her age group, the 30-39 year-old females. You have to finish in less than 30 hours to be an official finisher -- a bronze belt buckle! -- and you'll notice at the bottom of the standings, a woman named Terry G. Rhodes finished in 30:01.07. How frustrated would you be if you suffered for 30 straight hours, dragging your ragged body through snow and heat, up mountains, past rattle snakes, only to miss the cutoff time by 90 seconds?

If I'm Terry G. Rhodes, I'm telling all the race officials what they can do with their bronze belt buckle. Terry G. Rhodes, I'm sure, would never do that. She understands that there are rules, and if there weren't rules we would have chaos, and then everyone would have bronze belt buckles, and they would be meaningless. Not unlike the Houston Astros.

But seriously, if I'm her, the first person who walks up and says, "Oh, you almost made it! You should try again next year!" is getting punched in the face.