The best part of writing about gay athletes is that it makes sports fans uncomfortable. That's always fun. Of course, not all of you. Didn't mean to stereotype.
You might know that Fresno had seven men who went to Chicago to participate in the Gay Games as an indoor volleyball team. There wasn't anything particularly moving or heroic about their story.
They were, however, the first Fresnans to participate in the Gay Games, which seemed somewhat newsworthy.
So here is the update: The "Fresno Flames" won six of their 17 games in Chicago. They did not bring home medals of any kind, but that wasn't really the point. They wanted to experience the event and go on a cool trip.
Here's a picture of the team in the shirts they wore in the opening ceremonies. Team members are (from left to right) Archie Lansangan (F), Lionel Mendez (R), Doug King (E), Brian Rhea (S), Steve Anderson (N), Ray Rodriguez (O), and Rene Salas (flame).
While I'm thinking about it, if Stephen Glass ever wanted to get back into journalism, the paper should give him a blog, and then could post pictures as evidence of his stories. Not that I'm advocating anyone should hire Stephen Glass. Just making random observations.
Anyway, the real story of the guys going to the Gay Games, I thought, was that nearly all of them participated in sports in high school.
It seems like we often assume that gay students participate in drama and straight students play football, but that just isn't the case. And because locker rooms and sports arenas are still places where it's acceptable to gay bash -- go ahead and name any professional male athlete who has come out of the closet during his career -- a lot of athletes suffer through high school careers, or just quit.
Didn't get as much negative e-mail as I was expecting, but I'll share a couple snippets from one letter. I'll spare you the stuff about "sexual deviancy" and the rhetorical questions about whether I would write about a league of athletes who practiced bestiality. (Believe me, if there were a softball league whose participants were required to practice bestiality, I would definitely write about it. Do you know how many awards I'd win for finding that story? Me neither, but I assume at least a couple.)
"Mr. Matt James:
... I have a question for you. Why would you be reporting on an athletic (?) event whose players are far from class athletes, but more like you and me athletically. We all played sports to greater or lesser achievement in our lives, no different from these guys. So, why the distinction? ...
... You state further..."still aren't welcome in sports, despite all the progress they've made in society." This so called progress is not that at all ... It's a perception harvested from intimidation of a weak kneed society too afraid to stand up for their own values. I and those like me are sick and tired of having this deviancy shoved down our throats, disgustingly flaunted on the streets, and celebrated as though it is "normal" to be homosexual. The 95% or 96% of us not so afflicted are tired of this tyranny. Oh, and someone needs to inform "them" rainbows aren't "gay." ...
... Akin to what "Seinfeld" once said, sports venues are a high testosterone area (tho' he was speaking of garages), and real men don't want other men around them who have ideas of intimacy contrary to what their stomachs can endure ... nor should they. ...
... The twisted circumstance that causes you to write about non-athletes tells me it's a slow news day in Fresno....Maybe to get people like me riled up? ..."
Well, no, it wasn't just to get you riled up. That was just a bonus.
I'm not printing the name of the letter writer, but kudos for originality. In all the rants I've ever heard against homosexuality, I don't think I've ever heard anyone defend rainbows.
The guys practiced for months for this, and were excited about representing Fresno and its gay community, and I think that deserves recognition. Thanks, fellas.
Saw your article at www.stanpride.org. Nice work; glad to see the team got some recognition in their home town.
A few comments:
To Mr. James: Kudos to you for writing this article, there are a few exceptions I take to it but overall, "Thank You!". I am an athlete who was there in Chicago and in Sydney. I am a cyclist. I know many members of the "Fresno Flames" even though I live in Los Angeles and more power to them and many thanks to them for being 'out' and in print, not an easy thing to do in Fresno.
To the Flames team: It was an honor to be with you in Chicago. It was an honor to watch you play. It is an honor to know all of you. You are not professionals, you get no compensation other than the pats on the back you give each other. You are every bit as much "athletes" as those who get paid to play. You embodied the spirit of the games of "Participation - Inclusion - Personal Best". Mostly, it's that last part that you should be most proud of. Another respondent claimed that you are not "athletes" but you trained without certified coaching, without any funding, on your own time, on your own money and you did play to your "Personal Best" in Chicago and NO ONE can EVER take that from you! That is YOURS forever!
To the anonymous writer: I pity you. Quite sincerely, I feel sorry for you. You have little understanding of who and what we are as homosexuals. You hide behind words like "moral", "deviancy", "normal" and "tyranny", without realizing that homosexuals have probably been your friends, family, waiters, accountants, lawyers and yes, your favorite Pro sports "athletes". We homosexuals are the ultimate cross-section of the human race - we are rich, poor, educated, illiterate, blue-blood, peasant, each and every religion, every social and economic class, and have always existed. Each of us who is homosexual, had heterosexual parents. YOU create US! We are the "rainbow" of humankind.
Now, the fact remains, that we are just as much "athletes" as anyone who competes in sport, for that is the very definition of the word. The Gay Games and the Out Games, exclude NO ONE including you. Perhaps in time, there won't be a need for us to be separate and have our own events, but as long as people like you, are insecure enough in their own sexuality to be afraid of a gay man in your locker room, we'll continue to have our own events. The reality is that even in Pro Sports, their are homosexual athletes. In fact, they go to your gym and shower next to you (if you even go to the gym). I am willing to bet that there are homosexuals in your Church (you do go to Church right?!). We are as testosterone or estrogen driven as anyone else. Many of the events at the Gay Games have divisions for "licensed" or paid amateur athletes, they certainly do in my sport of Cycling. So, we not only are competitive, many of us get paid to compete in our sport. Tell you what, get your buddies together and play the Flames, you'll find out just how competitive people can be. In the meantime, just enjoy watching ESPN and having that beer and every so often, realize that someone on that screen, is GAY!
Have a nice day!
Eric Kamm
Thanks Matt for taking the time to write a story about us. It's nice to see positive stories about the gay community in the media.
Even though we didn't do as well as I hoped; I learned that even in gay sports, the competition is still fierce. Don't take my word for it though, come OUT to Cologne, Germany in four years and see for yourself!
To you Eric, THANK YOU for your response to that anonymous letter. Your "way with words" is truly inspirational...nice to have you on "OUR" side.
To the anonymous leter guy, I won't even waste my time trying to convince you of anything...you have your mind made up and nothing will ever change that attitude. Good luck trying to live your life without interacting with GAYS though...we are everywhere!
Ray Rodriguez
(Fresno Flames)
"I and those like me are sick and tired of having this deviancy shoved down our throats, disgustingly flaunted on the streets, and celebrated as though it is "normal" to be homosexual. The 95% or 96% of us not so afflicted are tired of this tyranny."
This was recently posted by someone who definitely has something against gays. It's this kind of attitude that kept me totally in the closet for many years. I wonder what may have caused this person to feel as intense as he does about this subject.
As a middle-aged gay man who came out at age 40, I am just happy to finally be true to myself as well as those closest to me. To me, the term "Gay" is a misnomer. I think that the majority of homosexuals would agree.
For many my age and older, the slow discovery of one's sexual orientation was quite a confusing time in my life, culminating in unwanted acceptance of a life that was different from the vast majority of people in this world. Having to hide that aspect of my life for many, many years took a lot of energy and creative responses to people's questions regarding girl friends and marriage. I was never willing to marry and try to make things right, as other gay men have done. Although some gay men now enjoy children and grandchildren because of their decision, I knew I would remain single. I just knew it wouldn't work, and I didn't want to ruin someone else's life by trying. Just as you know it wouldn't work for you to marry a woman and have the same relationship as you would have with a man.
I don't know if you can imagine the conflict I was having. But I was starved for companionship and a social life beyond work and my parents. Those who are not gay do not fully realize the opportunities and advantages that they take for granted -- everyday. Loneliness can eat away at you, especially when life continues on and your friends marry, start raising families and become involved in their own lives.
For a long time, homosexuality was considered a mental illness. I did not wish to disgrace myself and my family, so I remained in the closet for almost twenty five years, until times had changed and homosexuality was looked upon differently and accepted to some degree by mainstream society.
I grew up in a traditional Catholic, Portuguese family. I am glad that I had a mom and dad and siblings. My parents were married for 63 years, until my mom passed away in October 2005. I came out to them when I had my 40th birthday - a very lonely time in my life. They accepted me, but were afraid of how other people would treat me, even other family members. Fortunately, when I finally did come out to others, it was actually better than I had expected. However, very few people wanted to talk about it. Can you imagine how much I wanted to talk about it - over twenty years of having that bottled up inside?
Since coming out, I have met many other gays. When I was first coming out, I met gay men at bars, some of which disgusted me and made me embarrassed to be gay. Eventually, I met other gays that I could respect. I joined a Fresno gay/lesbian organization that provided me with an opportunity to meet other gays in a respectable, social atmosphere. This organization is dedicated to providing events (speaker events, dinners, parties, dancing, talent shows, barbecues, fundraisers, etc.
I believe that the gentleman quoted would be surprised to know some people in his life who are gay. They do not always fit the stereotypical image so prevalent and popular in the media, especially in our conservative communities. I know this from a personal standpoint.
A friend gave me a copy of your article on the Gay Games when I returned from Chicago, and I was just made aware of this blog.
There is one point of inaccuracy, and that is that Fresnans are new to the games. Two Fresnans competed in the second games in San Francisco, one winning 1-Gold, 2-Silver and 2-Bronze medals and the other 1-Silver and 1-Bronze medal. I myself am a Fresnan and have competed in the past 4 games, winning 6-Gold, 2-Silver and 1-Bronze medals. I know there have been others.
The focus of the games is "Participation, Inclusion, and Personal Best". Fresnans have not only participated, but have also excelled in their efforts.
(correction to comment I just sent, I won 5-Gold, 3-Silver and 1-Bronze medals at the games). Hope it can be fixed.