I am watching what will inevitably be the longest, scoreless softball game in recorded history. It's Saturday afternoon, the bottom of the sixth and the Fresno State Bulldogs lead Hawaii, 0-0.
I say "lead" because they have a runner on second, and in this game, that's progress.
This ump is calling strikes a foot outside and a foot inside. She's calling strikes at the chest and just above the knees. If it doesn't bounce or hit the backstop, it's a strike. She's consistent, but if a runner gets to third, I'm expecting her to rule that the batters can only come to the plate with rake handles.
Maybe the NCAA just made a rule that softball umpires are paid by the inning, and she's short on a car payment or something.
I remember writing a feature about men's fastpitch a few years ago, about a game that went something like 26 innings without a run scored, and each of the pitchers struck out 50 batters. They finally agreed to stop the game at 4 a.m. because one of the pitchers was a policeman and had to go to work.
I feel like that's where we're headed.
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