I have been watching Day 2 and Day 3 of March Madness from a hotel in Sacramento, a fantastic suite, by the way, complete with a full-size fridge and stove and pots and pans and dishwasher and microwave and plates and glasses and a whole bunch of other stuff I have absolutely no use for, but it just feels good to have it. Like a parking brake.

There is also a desk and couch and chair and TV playing the NCAA Tournament, and so I have absolutely no incentive to leave the room, except to hit the breakfast buffet downstairs this morning.

I'm in town to write about Clovis West playing in the state title game tonight.

The bad news is my school, Kansas, has already been upset -- not even shocking anymore, just infuriating -- which was even more upsetting than the fact that I only got to watch the last 50 seconds of it because CBS was showing Kentucky vs. UAB. I'm no geography professor, but aren't Bradley University and the University of Kansas closer to California than Kentucky or UAB?

And why do they wait until the last possible minute to switch games?! WHY?! And now the other school from my home state, Wichita State, is losing to Tennessee, which made some sort of deal with the devil to get a No. 2 seed and then got help from the officials in the first round. And now they're making 3s from 30 feet! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

I hope The Bee is alright with me expensing a bunch of dishes, because I've launched them all at the TV. I just threw the coffee table out my fourth-floor window into the pool. A maid knocked and asked if everything was alright. Yeah, sure, if you don't mind your hotel room looking like a scene from "Roadhouse."

(Note to my bosses: I am exaggerating. The coffee table completely missed the pool.)