It's not just the Valley that's struggling over the issue of teaching students to avoid fistfights. Chicago also is addressing this problem in a serious way. According to a story this week in the Chicago Tribune, Chicago's reform efforts have helped to fuel a 13% drop in the number of students arrested in their public schools last year, the same year the district faced intense scrutiny from parents for "criminalizing" student misconduct such as fights and talking back to the staff.
The story says the decline was driven largely by a dramatic reduction in the number of students charged with simple battery, a misdemeanor for a fight that doesn't involve weapons, attacks on staff members or serious injury. School administrators have a lot of discretion in how they handle these conflicts, and their responses often determine whether a student is hauled off in handcuffs or disciplined on campus.
Its funny but this has come to light recently in my private life while my daughter goes to school and I can remember how my dad taught me.
I was taught to stick up for myself but to never hit first.
I do not teach my daughter that. She was having a problem with another girl in her school. I talked to the teacher about it. We could not give her a name. Then my daughter pointed the girl out. I asked her her name and told the teacher as she waited for parents to pick up the remaining students in her class. At the same time I told my daughter that at any point if she hits you or kicks you simply say as loudly as you can "Stop!" then tell the nearest teacher.
Anyway as we talked about it I told my daughter that many of the kids I had fights with as a child became my friends. The best part is making friends with people instead of reacting with fists.
As we where walking home the other child's mom offered us a ride, but I walk for exercise. I politely refused. I also told this other girl that a better idea would be to make friends with each other. (she lives near by)
One or two days later my daughter came home excited.
"Daddy, daddy! We are friends now!" I was very proud of her. Also of the other girl.
I will not always be able to take such a direct hand in my daughters conflicts but life has taught me one thing if you react violently you can expect more violence. Learn to defuse the problem instead of adding fuel to it.
Don't misunderstand me there are times where you need to stand up for yourself. Learning when and how is part of growing up.
i loved this story,john...ty