We had an interesting little debate at this morning's editorial board meeting over the question of whether the kids have just gotten too carried away with the costs of prom. The limos and the after-parties particularly seem to set people off.
My husband and I have had kids participating in prom at every level, from those who spent more than $1,500 to those who spent less than $50. We've helped both boys and girls prepare for the big night. Everyone has had a great time and a lifetime memory no matter how big or small the expense. I think kids learn a lot of lessons from prom -- everything from how to pin on a boutonniere (what is a boutonniere?) and organize your friends into a dinner party to how to get your buddies to pay their share of the group expenses without making enemies in the process. I really don't like the pressure to go as couples. I think it would be a lot more fun if girls and guys felt more comfortable going in big groups of friends. Fortunately, the kids already seem to be moving the tradition in that direction, and that's a good thing.
What do you think? Is prom just getting way overdone or is it just another rite of passage?
Personally, I'm a dress-up girl so I think prom is well worth investing the cash from a few babysitting jobs or pizza deliveries. For girly-girl princesses like me who love to wear party clothes, it's a dream day unlike any other. You get to play ultimate dress-up. I ran with a very casual crowd, so there was no chance I was going to get many other opportunities to attend formal occasions like this.
I went to two proms when I was a senior because my boyfriend went to Bullard and I went to Clovis High. We had two awesome weekends enjoying with our separate sets of friends. It was an expensive prom season for both of us -- and our parents -- but I wouldn't trade those memories for three Rolling Stones concerts. I still remember shopping with my mom for the pale green raw silk dress with a matching coat -- we went to little boutiques in Hanford so I wouldn't be looking at the same dresses as everyone else here. I did my own hair and makeup and we were perfectly happy to go in his car. My late father took the pictures -- he was a superb photographer and those portraits are on display in our house to this day.
I think the limo idea is big fun if the kids are into it. The exchange students we host still turn their heads and point anytime they see a limo. For them, it's something only celebrities experience, so it's a huge fantasy to ride in a limo. Americans use limos for all sorts of occasions from funerals and weddings to big parties and concerts so it's common to see them all over town. It's not like that in other countries. We always have to explain to foreigners that it's not necessarily a celebrity riding inside. The car is an added expense for prom night, sure, but from the kids' stories at the end, it's often well worth it. Some say that riding around in the limo was the best part of the whole night. It does take some planning and organizing, but when would most kids ever have such an experience again? Probably not until their weddings.
On the subject of the after-parties, I'd actually like to see a bigger deal made of the after-parties so there are fewer private parties where kids can so easily get into trouble. In other areas I've read about, there are huge all-night sober parties after prom similar to gradnight and that sounds like a really good idea to me. It is hard to understand for some people why kids need another party after prom, but my experience is there is such a build-up to prom that they still have lots of energy after the dance. Better to channel that into something positive.
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