They're everywhere, and no one knows
In the first few months of my deployment, my wife confessed to me that she was very sad. She told me that one day she broke down in tears in the laundry room of our home. Our daughter, hearing her mother crying, had gone to her and asked if she was all right.
"Mommy's okay, sweetie. She's just sad because daddy's not here and mommy doesn't have very many friends," she replied, wiping the tears from her face and attempting to regain herself as she looked down at our little girl. Then she squatted down to her level and did her best to muster a smile as she looked into our daughter's eyes, dragging the heel of her hand outward across the corner of her eye and onto her temple, to wipe away the tears.
My daughter looked back into her mother's eyes for a moment and then replied, "Don't worry mommy, me and brother are your friends." And with that she kissed my wife's cheek and hugged her.
My wife had told me that she just felt so alone and it seemed like no one knew or understood.
"The other day I was in the grocery store and I just wanted to cry as everyone just went on with their shopping and their lives around me. ... I just felt so alone."
"I'm sorry I'm making you go through this, honey. I would never have wanted it this way," I said.
There was a short pause in her voice before she answered. "I know. I'm just sad. I just feel like no one understands," she replied.
"I know this may sound weird, honey, and it may not make you feel any better, but when you're feeling sad, you know, like when you're in the grocery store, do you ever wonder who else is feeling sad?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know, the other people around you in the store." I paused briefly before going on. "You know, the other ones who are trying to hold it together, the ones that feel alone."
She was silent on the other end of the phone for a moment and then finally answered, "No, I guess I never thought about that."
"Well, surely somebody else around you is sad. Someone just had a parent die or maybe they have a sick child or something ... and they just go on every day. And no one knows, right?"
"Hmmm," she replied.
"Maybe we just never knew they were there until we became one of them, and then we realized they were everywhere. They were all around you all along. And maybe they feel just like you. You know, alone."
Comments
We live in Visalia and my wife would be happy to talk with yours. She is an adoption couselor. Thanks for your bravery and tell anyone you see that we owe them everything.
Posted by: Steve | June 11, 2007 3:29 AM