Show of hands -- who actually thinks Frank Caliendo is funny?
Is there anyone more annoyingly unfunny than Frank Caliendo? I'm curious, because Caliendo is going into year two of topping my rankings.
Dane Cook is a close No. 2, but I have to go with Caliendo just for the amount of advertising I see for his "Frank TV" on TBS, which somehow was renewed for a second season that begins next week.
I get it, Frank, you do impressions. I get it, TBS, you have a show of Frank doing impressions. Do you guys really need to advertise every time there's a commercial break on your station? Do you really need to put the ads all over my MySpace page. Can this stop now?
Caliendo's equally annoying in his interviews. Case in point: This Q & A with our own Rick Bentley.
I bring all this up because Caliendo is performing tonight at Tachi Palace in Lemoore. I'm guessing some people from around here will be going to the show. For those people I have only one question: Why?
An event like this has no place in our parks, where our children can see such violence. People trotting around with guns, influencing kids to carry guns, gunning around with guns, showing them it's more important to kill thy enemy (with guns) than love thy enemy. It's deplorable. There's already too much violence in our society -- and violence, no matter if it's for sport, history or eliminating the entire cast of "The Hills" -- is WRONG.
I was in the homeland last weekend and I saw this commercial for a guy who's running for city council there. He thinks emulating a dog treat ad is the way to get elected. For the sheer ridiculousness of it, I had to share ...
Portugal. The Man comes to Fresno ... finds best burrito ever
Indie band Portugal. The Man was in town on Tuesday night for a show at The Exit. If you checked out my interview with frontman John Baldwin Gourley, you'd know that while it take its name from a European country, the band is actually from Wasilla, Alaska (a.k.a. Sarah Palin-ville). When I talked to Gourley, the band was in Netherlands.
I bring up all this geography because, according to Portugal. The Man's Twitter feed, of all of the places they've been, band members found the best burrito ever at Robertito's in Fresno yesterday.
Admittedly, I'm more of a taco man than a burrito man, so I don't know whether these Alaska boys were just easily impressed by one of Fresno's many excellent Mexican food options or if Robertito's burritos really are that good.
So yeah -- best burritos in Fresno, let's hear 'em ...
Monday Night Rock-Off: Every Time I Die vs. Jaguar Love
Mondays are usually pretty zzzz for shows around Fresno -- but tonight there are two strong touring shows hitting town: Metal band Every Time I Die at The Exit and spazzy indie rockers Jaguar Love at Starline.
The Sarah Palin bumper sticker: Straight talk or ironic?
So I saw this Sarah Palin "Pit bull with lipstick" bumper sticker the other night. And, as I wrote in my column last Friday, Palin is so out there these days that it's hard to tell what's earnest and what's making fun of her.
I've debated with myself about this bumper sticker. It looks like it could be a joke. But it was spotted in Clovis. But it was on a hybrid. But it was a hybrid SUV. Gosh, it could just go either way.
Fres-Know: Because you don't pay attention to the Internet on weekends
VINDICATION: Ryan Mathews said "Suck it, Beehive" and ran for 57 yards including a 20-yard touchdown in the Bulldogs' 45-32 win over Idaho on Saturday night. Party or not, we wish you a very happy birthday, Ryan. Seriously.
SMASHING: Oh Smash Mouth, once you had the mammoth hit "All Star" and now you're just the band playing a free show at the Fresno State tailgate, hoping people remember you.
LOTTA LOVATO: Disney star Demi Lovato performed at the Big Fresno Fair over the weekend and proved the kids love them some YouTube. At most recent count, there were 86 videos of Lovato's concert on the 'Tube.
SPEAKING OF: The Bee's editorial board endorsed Obama for president on Sunday, which means the Opinion Talk blog should be especially fun to watch today. Play nice, politicos.
If you don't look at Post No Bills each week, you're missing both some outstanding artwork on local event fliers, and some total WTFs. Here's one that was so WTF it deserved its own post. Plus, it's a birthday flier, so now the Ryan Mathews defenders can't think we're only picking on No. 21.
I submit, for you approval or disapproval, perhaps the worst flier ever ...
Welcome to another week of Post No Bills -- a weekly look at what's going on in Fresno brought to you exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.
Post No Bills is the largest collection of Fresno concert, club and event fliers anywhere on the Web. It's also proof that anybody who says there's nothing to do in Fresno is either crazy or lazy. So sit back, give your browser a minute to load and take a look at various happenings.
As always, we welcome contributions bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.
Because we love downtown Fresno, and we love when you show love to downtown Fresno, here's how you can be a total dowtowner on Saturday ...
1. Hit up the Yoshi Now! fall flea market. Yoshi Now! is, without a doubt, one of the most interesting places to shop in Fresno. And when it opens its parking lot for Fresnans to come sell whatever they want, the selection gets even more unpredictable. Add in four local bands performing, and it's a good first stop on your downtown Fresno adventure.
Video: Planet Asia & DJ Muggs, "Lions in the Forest"
From Planet Asia and Mugg's "Pain Language" album. I love the horns and Asia reppin' with the "Fresno Militia" shirt ... though it takes a couple minutes of theatrics to get to that point. Warning: Language NSFW.
You know how the Internet is kind of like that stand-up comedian who is never afraid to "go there." Well, for all you crying over the 600-point fall the Dow just took, this blog went there: Sad Guys on Trading Floors.
Sorry y'all, it was either this, or I was gonna post the Tom Petty "Free Falling" video.
Ryan Mathews: Partying, but not playing this weekend
UPDATE:David Boutte, the promoter of the party, got in touch with me last night and told me he's doing a recall on fliers because it's a violation of NCAA rules to use a player's likeness in this way. And we all know the Bulldogs don't need any more trouble, right?
Apparently one of the higher-ups at Fresno State saw this post and was like "On snap! We can't do that." Maybe not in those exact words, but ya know ...
ORIGINAL POST: The various tubs of the Interwebs are telling me that Ryan Mathews, the popular Fresno State running back who has been on the shelf since hurting his knee against UCLA, is having a big ol' My Super Sweet 21 birthday party this Saturday night at Aqua Shi.
Because who better to celebrate your birthday with than a bunch of strangers, fans and sushi eaters, right?
When you need help in this troubled economy, consult Weird Al
Parody master Weird Al is going all Jim Cramer on us in his latest song -- a little ditty about how he keeps his honeys happy when money is tight (or tizight, as the case may be).
Al boosts T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" -- which was No. 1 on Billboard's Hot 100 for five weeks -- and doesn't even change the song's name. His "Whatever You Like" is a little different than T.I.'s ode to giving girls Patron and stacks of money.
I realize you could care less about what I think of you, since you were probably oblivious that someone else was even behind you in line.
Still, I couldn't help but overhear your phone conversations (maybe sshhhh a little more next time). Much like I couldn't miss that three-inch jean skirt of yours and how you kept twirling your fingers in your hair. But I didn't make up my mind about you until you started with the lies.
You were in ice cream line. Why did you lie and tell whoever was on the phone that you were getting gas? Why did you then say, "he's on the other line, I have to go." But nobody was.
Why, a couple minutes later, tell a different caller you were "on your way," then cover the receiver, order your ice cream, then get back on the phone and say, "I'm waiting at a stop light right before the freeway."
No, you were getting a pint of Chocolate Brownie ice cream. I saw.
It's none of my business, I know. But I can't help but wonder why you can't just tell the truth. What's the purpose of lying so frivolously? If you said "I'm at Rite Aid getting ice cream," what's the worst that could happen? Someone would ask you to bring them some too?
Hey y'all, today marks Felicia's one-year anniversary of blogging here at The Beehive. If we could, we'd send her to a ritzy resort for spa treatments. But we're just a lowly ol' Fresno blog with no taxpayer money behind us.
Still, us bloggers pooled our money and were able to get Felicia this YouTube video*.
I'd like to think this product could be considered a blogger's best friend.
*Note: Just the video, not the totally fake product advertised within.
Show of hands -- who actually thinks Frank Caliendo is funny? 
