Is there anything sadder than Jessica Simpson's new beer ad?
Jessica Simpson has tried, and failed at, every job in the entertainment industry. She has, however, had some success selling things, such as shoes and fake hair. Now Jessica, embracing her new country persona, is trying to make her fortune on something called Stampede Light beer.
Is the "Be Smart" tagline placed under the slack-jawed, dead-eyed Jessica meant to be ironic? I'm guessing not, as the rest of the ad reads: "I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That's why I made the smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it's beer plus."
I was going to end this post with a joke about Jessica's future career in infomercials or on QVC, but apparently she's already done both. There is officially no joke left to be made about Jessica Simpson that life hasn't already made, and this saddens me more than you'll ever know.
Comments:
This is too funny. Anything I add could be considered a distraction from the ad and Heather's post...but there are key things that stand out:
1) Is Jessica using this as her head shot to audition for the sequel to "Lars and the Real Girl"? Ryan Gosling would actually check Jessica for a pulse...and he has a hard time separating fantasy from reality
2) Is this really being advertised as a "SMART DRINK"? I know that an Intelligence Quotient of 71 is not considered mentally retarded (70 is two standard deviations from the mean and therefore the magic number for metal retardation), but Ms. Simpson's solid 71 IQ is in no way considered SMART.
3) Algebra is not her strongest subject. The copy ends with a common scenario for young Jessica...an incomplete equation: "Stampede Light, it's beer plus". Poor Jessica can't solve for "X". Stampede Beers = beer + X...Jessica, solve the equation for "X".
Posted by: Travis Sheridan at August 20, 2008 1:25 PM
"it's beer plus"
Plus what? The suspense is killing me.
I swear if she endorses Guiness I'm never drinking again.
Posted by: Michael at August 20, 2008 1:32 PM
It's so sad Heather, when life is its own parody. I mean, if SNL was relevant anymore, they'd be out of work.
Seriously though, they should put that picture next to the word vapid in the dictionary.
Posted by: adam at August 20, 2008 1:42 PM
She's one old-guy marriage and a handful of pills away from being Anna Nicole Smith.
Posted by: Mike Oz at August 21, 2008 1:02 PM
did she get her lips done or something? in a few pictures i've seen, she looks like goldie hawn in the First Wives Club after she got her lips done.
Posted by: mdub420 at August 22, 2008 10:35 AM
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