Editor's note: This is the last in a series of five entries -- one for each question. These could quite possibly be the five longest Beehive entries ever. Sorry. Also, there's some profanity.

QUESTION FIVE: What is the future for Eric and the Fresno forums? What should we expect out of you in the next couple of years?

Hmmmm.

well, that sounds like a final question, (not as open ended as the others... thank you so much for saving me from my own devices, here, Will... ;)

In truth:
My involvement with a lot of things has taken a major turn away from a lot of online writing.

Again, the personal 'Blogger' sites I've let sort of go, --and then erased.
I think it's sometimes important to do that. (My friend APJ was not too thrilled with it,) ---but there is something to be said about privacy, ---and what you do on the computer really can last forever.
--I may be writing more on there, (probably will,) but it's always been a highly personal blog.
Those who wish to read it can, and I'm sure folks (like 'Lime,') will always be there... (Her blog is amazing... House of Lime,) truly a wonderful person, (she's based out of Penna. in the Poconos.)

The Fresno Famous side really is in flux.
I mean, you have to sort of 'want to,' be a part of conversations to begin with (which is a lot different than 'blogging,') and I feel pretty detatched from a lot that is happening in the Tower and Downtown.
Again, a lot of the groups I was a part of, and a lot of the efforts have sort of gone on without me, (which is fine,) --and my busnesses really keep me hopping.
A lot of the conversation (when I was checking on it,) sort has moved on and sealed up, --and really isn't something I'm in, ---which is fine.
I do feel that a lot of the conversations are cyclical (and my stuff is huge enough without repeating it again and again,) and I sort of have this feeling of walking into a room full of people who I really don't know, and just don't see the need to chime in a lot, it seems like the points that need to be hit are being done, --and the rest of it is kind of removed.

I think it diredtly has a lot to do with the groups I really don't see anymore.
It's funny, I'm the first one to say that I prefer real life to computers and 'third party,' communication, ---and that's sort of what is happening.
I don't feel lead to write a whole lot about stuff that I'm not involved in.
We'll see.

MindHub... dear sweet MindHub...
I get posts from them every day.
And, to be honest, there is some stuff that I don't bother to open, other stuff that's like: 'Oh, okay, I want to hear what THEY have to say on this, and see what the other views are.'

Right now there is a discussion happening between Joe Moore (who I know, kind of, I mean, we don't hang out, ---but I do know him, and if I see him I'm always happy to say hi and see how things are going... I respect him and his work tremendously, and he's one of those folks who it's like, '...I'd really like to be friends with this sort of person...' --all of my conversations have always been open, honest, and very heartfelt. (You talk with Joe Moore, and you're like: 'dammit, this town is so lucky to have somebody like this that cares for it, who is actively involved, who's respected, ---who's a fighter,---but not in some whacked out 'burn the Deans office down,' sort of way...'
I've always felt that about Joe.)
---So yeah, he and Jerry Duncan (who I don't know... don't even think we've discussed anything online, -unless he's somebody who writes under an alias, (and there are plenty of those, some who have used the same writing style and views as he...)

Anyway, they're talking about property usage and such downtown.
Pretty heavy dialogue on things that folks will want to know as it has to do with taxpayer dollars and all that...
And I look at it, and I'm like.... Hmmm, I can learn here, this is something I need to hear about....
But in the end? It's like:
-Okay, is the govt. crooked and doing something bad?
-Is the govt. straight up and doing something good?
-Is there the smallest thing I can do about it either way???
(I mean, I vote, I will vote.. (are we voting tomorrow or something (Tuesday,) ---is THAT why my mailbox is full of 'vote for me,' crap?)

But in a way, I don't feel that it's really my world.

I mean, I care about the use of resources in the town, ---but it's sort of distant.
I actually care about the Fulton Mall, ---but I care more for my friends who have a cafe' there, and how That's going...
-beyond that?
I dunno.. there isn't any real deep emotional attachment to the place...

(And to be honest, when I write on the place,
---or think about some of the experiences I've had there, ---it's kind of a mixed bag,
---and if all of the experiences havn't been 'wow, this is great, this has promise, I had the bestest day here EVER...' ?
There has been bad with the good, (good always more...)
But the bad was still there...
If I reflect that there have been times where I've walked through there in the middle of the afternoon and thought:
'...okay, spidey senses tingling, I got some pretty shady types giving me the eye, I may have to go animal here,
--because they are starting to act like I'm about to get jumped, and they're starting to choose me off...'
---Even writing that?
Folks are going to be like:
'...Dude, don't be a hater, Support the Fulton Mall, ---what, you have a problem with people of brown skin???'
No, actually.
I love people with brown skin.... they're excellent.
---I have a problem with people who are looking to jump me, who definitely make me feel uneasy, ---and are acting menacing.
(Am I allowed to say that they are from another country, or another racial background, or different part of town, or whatever?
In truth?
I'm really not.
I might say it...
But I don't want to present as a racist, (because I'm not,)
---and I don't want to fuel their fire and hatred... (because that is very possible when you write,)
---yet, I have issues with how these particular individuals present...

Sometimes, it's sorta exhausting to have to go through all the hurdles and hoops to be just like, telling the truth,
---because you know it can be used so many ways, and ways that you did NOT mean.

So, anyhow... MindHub...
---I'm finding the people who I really resonate with (good or bad,) sort of existing on MindHub on the heavier stuff.
--Am I reading Joe and Duncan's writings on the edge of my seat, biting my nails and saying,
'...oh this is good, this is soooo good.'

Not for the reasons that people think.
I think there's going to be shady dealings and things going on with property and development and govt.
---No matter what. (And everybody could still be clean as a whistle.)

I just happen to love that Joe is (respectfully,) presenting stuff that (Even I) can understand,
--in a way tackle a subject of public interest with a polititian,
(and not be all like: '...Jerry Duncan Blah-Blah-BLAH blah-blah blech...'
No...
it's really cool to watch this mind work (Joe's) ---I learn everytime he writes,
---and I also know (from personal experience,) that this guy is really full of (both) knowledge and the inner workings of things that (most) don't have,
---and very very graceful (yet) sober about it.
So I read...

And then I read what Duncan has to say... (admittedly, my eyes sort of glaze over... this is NOT my subject of choice,,,) ---but then I see him write
'...I respect your views on this, I just disagree....'
Excellent...
I mean, THAT was a discussion by two minds on the issue, NO nastiness,
--and if I read on this, I'm going to see how things on levels greater up in the foodchain are handled...
---and that gives me hope.
Duncan respects Joe enough to tell him that,
---and I respect Joe as well (and it sounds like for the same reasons...)
--With the math in my head?

This means that somewhere in this existance, I'm kind of swimming the same waters as Joe and Duncan... (I'm not deluded to think that I'm either of these guys,)
----but I can read what they write, kind of 'get it,'
---and it causes me to grow and actually feel 'rooted,' in this town somehow on a level that isn't
'...If you are in the tower and move to Riverpark or Champlain and Perrin, you suck...'
(which some of the other 'Fresno' based folks just can't seem to get past.)

I'm working on something for MindHub, (mentally,) for the past couple of days, ---even while writing up this monster... (And to be honest? the little hamster in my brain is one tired mo-fo, --AND wants a word with you....)
---But it's been good.

I consider the stuff I'm working on, (I really want to review more info on the whole 'domestic violence,' piece that I'm working on, (there is an update, there was a second attack last weekend... then things got quiet, --and I'm finding out that they aren't going to be 'a problem,' anymore...)
But still, I want to research it, and post it up and have it there as a reference for anybody who's on this thing, ---so that they can be like... '....Ya know, there is an issue here, and THIS is how we can help.'
---If I can write something, put out the request for info, compile good data, ---and then give it back to folks? Oh hot damn... that's excellent... That's using a creative network to really accomplish something that (to me) is sort of worthy... (I'm not saying that the other subjects and posts aren't, --I just sometimes have a different thought of what it means to be 'creative,' in the community...

I'm also brewing up a piece that (honestly,) talks about one of my cats 'Squeak,' getting taken out by two neighborhood kids who thought it was cute to chase and kill a cat with pit-bulls.
(Not much of a shocker---and I'll be honest,
it's not going to be a '...go Fresno, go Fresno, -rah-rah-rah.' sort of thing...'
It really bothers me, and I'm trying to figure out how to present it...
It's not going to be happy,
It's not going to be easy...
It's a mixed race thing... (If my candidate for president had concerns about people who supported them saying things that may come across as 'potentially,' controversial?,
they might just write a letter stepping away from my views
---especially after I talk about my little buddy going down the way that he did...
---Fortunately?
She doesn't seem to be as shakey when it comes to associations, (and besides, I've not sent her any money...)

My posts, (especially on MindHub,) really tend to be more about a human interest sort of thing.
But the very nature of the place really tends to keep me in check. (Again, I've had people who I had no idea had thought 1 about me, write me and chime in on my stuff... ---and I want to walk respectfully in that.)
--I am just glad to be able to contribute, and that it's not all rejected and forced out by the lack of patience (or) lack of respect and caring that so often hits other sites...
(I know my stuff is long, ---I think other folks know that too, and they seem to have accepted me for what I am, and what I have to say... That's very very empowering, very satisfying, ---and extremely humbling, (extremely.)

Beehive:
What to say about Beehive... I mean, I do feel like I find out a lot of stuff on Beehive.
Beehive is a (wee bit,) like what Fresno Famous used to be for me...
Beehive has been a lot more interractive, ---the levels of intelligence (usually,) stays up there, --and it's kind of a '...okay, you wanna fight, it's bare knuckles, but this matters...'

Beehive is kind of an interesting arena...
I mean, you have the obvious gossip and nonesense that goes on, --but you also have folks who will pony up with truth.

I had my mind changed (and my heart,) based upon some stuff that I wrote on Beehive, (and) was kind of wrong about, (very wrong in some ways,)
(It may have been my first post on the thing.)
I saw Woodward Shakespeare Festival as being (largely,) the work of one person...
(I heard their side of the story and such a LOT during the first season..)
I wrote a comment, based upon that experience to Eric Day, --about something that was happening (I forget what,)
--and it was loaded with way more spin and barbs that need be... (on Beehive) ---and to cap it off?
I was wrong about my stance and my facts....
I mean, I was not wrong about the 'good,' that I saw in the person who I knew, ---I was just not acknowledging what he had done, ----(and) the fact that this thing initially was (his) baby...
(He pretty basically, and without a whole lot of 'drama,' (strange, no drama from an area noted for 'drama,' (legit drama,) wrote the facts out...
I checked with a friend who knew the whole deal, (objectively,) about what I was hearing?, ---and son of a gun, I had some things wrong...

Out of nowhere, after some thinking about it, I called him up, (mutual friend had his number...)
--To be honest?
He didn't know who I was at first... ---but when I explained what the deal was, ---was really honest that I had been having an attitude that wasn't called for, --and needed to apologize? I think he was a little surprised, (again, I'm not anybody in his life, we don't travel the same circles at all..)
--But he was really graceful about it.
(I know, I know, sort of a weird story... not meant to 'name drop,' or anything.)
---But to me, the Beehive actually provided the setting where I could find out....
'jeez, I've been an idiot, this is stupid, I need to admit a fault, lay this to rest, tell somebody that I really respect what they do, and grow in this, (and maybe even bless somebody, ---if I say it right...)
(It's a little tricky calling somebody up out of the clear blue and being like, '...dude, I've had a problem with you, and I'm sorry...'
(and they're like... '...who? is this???')

But it was cool, I mean, it worked out... I genuinely respect the guy, and a wrong was corrected.
---and I felt like my involvement with 'the reality,' of this town -- changed and put to rest 'the perception,' that was really incorrect.

I've had the same experience (strangely enough,) with folks like Oz...
I mean, not that there was any resentment or anything going on,,,
---but there were conversations that seemed to have emotions in them, and I called and was like...
'...you know, I really do respect your work, and I really do appreciate what you're doing...' ---and it wasn't some lame 'blow smoke up a skirt, to make (social) peace...' --I don't do that.
---Those times I've called? I've always been very impressed by (his,) integrity and stating that he did NOT want to sway the situation with his views, -and that he sort of regretted doing it... ---And that garnered a ton of respect for me...
So much so, that I consider other areas (even in music... admittedly I am NOT a rap-hip-hop fan...) ---but if he's going to talk about what's good and why? I'm going to pay attention, ---because the guy is not just some '...if you don't like this, you SUCK,,,,' faux gangsta.

I see that (positive quality) a lot on Beehive.

(Right now Heather is probably like... ('...yeh, all my diplomacy about Brittney and Amy Winehouse...')
--but truth there (also) is she's a writer who (okay, she has her tracks, she's a celeb. gossip writer, I am NOT expecting Mother Theresa,)
---she's very witty, very pithy,
---and comes up with interesting stuff, (such as the 'Michael Keaton (not Michael Keaton) Batman vid...
---that gave me nightmares for like, three days, (did you know that they have other songs too??? These guys are like, NASA level 'Weird NJ,' types...)
I think two of the most memorable posts she did?
-The one about finding the spider legs in the shape of a star of David... (Charlottes Shalom)
-And the one where she (after Heath Ledger's death,) posted pictures of his heartbroken (former,) girlfriend ---looking up at him and 'simply being in love.'
---oh man that took guts...
and ONLY a girl could have seen that, gotten it, said that,
and it was one tough and vulnerable thing to see and read... She really bared it there... and it was stunning.

And then there's the posts about News anchors farting and such... --so it's all great fun.

I DO think that there's a very strong (anti) religious ---particularly 'conservative church -christian' sentiment...
But to be honest?
Seeing how churches and other Christians are, how strict and separatist/judgemental they can be, ---I understand the reaction.
It bothers me, ---because It plays to the stereotype sometimes... -but I can see where folks are coming from.

Do I think it ALL caves into a bunch of stereotyping and cliche's sometimes???
Yeah.. --especially when it wanders too close to a sacred cow
(municipal or neighborhood pride, --ANYTHING that makes Fresno look bad (even when it's true.)
---stuff that's obviously destructive and held up as 'hey this is cool,'
---drinking, driving while drinking,
---just partying and killing off grey cells (and other people,) because folks have nothing better to do with their life...
---calling the police EVERYTHING but 'fascist.'
(Fresno Famous usually has worse when it comes to that.)
Lets not go there...

I think the Beehive sort of became what Fresno Famous was headed towards, ---before it degenerated and a lot of folks left.
There was one writer on 'Famous that consistantly spewed some of the most hateful and destructive (surprisingly well woven) venomous puke that I've ever read... ---and I think that kind of poisoned things in a way... (People have said that my posts, being too long? were killing it, but, truthfully? Nah.)

Do I see a lot of 'deep issues,' coming out on Beehive?
No.
It doesn't seem to be wired for that,
---and I try to respect that with my writing in it (there have been exceptions...)
--but I realize that it's sort of geared towards the quick remark, retort, rim-shot, side of life...
and it's cool, I think it works.

--But it's successful in that I can look at stuff (like television reviews,) ---(I don't watch TV really, ---so lots of it is like... um, okay...)
--But at least understand what's happening in that world, --and why folks are into it.
-I have no use for American Idol, (never have, never will... --I think it's basically ruined gospel music as a genre,)
-I have no use for 'Reality Shows,' for the most part, (could care less how one participant represents Fresno, fights, prays, gets laid, --whatever... to me it's just part of the fall of (whatever) empire we're in...
-Though most (local theatre doesn't really grab me? I think 'the Rogue,' is tremendous... (but they know that.)
-There are some excellent bands I like to see, (when I have the time,) so stuff like Post No Bills is excellent.
(I mean, if it weren't for Oz mentioning 'Avett Brothers,' ---I would have missed one of the greatest shows I've seen in a looooooong time.'
(And when I spoke with him next, (he has this kind of quiet voice,) he was like
'...wow, did you get a chance to go to that, I couldn't make it, but I wanted to, how was it?'
--and there was this basic wonder that you could hear in the question that (for me,) stemmed back all the way to probably hearing a cool song, and walking up to my buddy (Ed Carson,) the first guitarist in my first band (actually it was his band...)
and be like
'...dude, you got to hear this, this is INCREDIBLE...'
(and you're both sitting there mumbling Joe Walsh lyrics back and forth to each other under your breath during study hall, with the teacher giving you the 'eye.')
---you know, THAT.

--Coming to a foreign land like Fresno, ---and having folks who can hook up like that?, means a lot.

(That's in any venue. I mean, I remember dropping of 'Hidden Dimension' to Dennis (Manning,) and this really cool conversation breaking out, --and him writing me a few days later, saying that the book had him thinking in ways he'd never considered (and Dennis has been at it a while...)
Stuff like calling into KFSR and telling Joe that you liked a song, or stuff like that, (something, sadly, which I've not done in probably a year, now...)

The forums, when they work, work for me like that.
It's a community.
There are writers out there ('Joey' Fernandez, AmyK, KimBurly (all rollergrrls) ---who when they sit down to type on anything, I'm just blown out of the water.
---And they have other areas that are spectacular to experience as well, (Check out Amy's sculptures some time.)

This and more, (writing with Andy, Spleece, Ant-Music, ---even Orcaoid (who I will never ever figure out who they are... like, EVER.)
--All of this is a way to get to know a town, ---and what it's thinking, ---and really learn from it at the same time, ---and they're expressing too, they're caring too, ---and their words grow and mean something.

It can get hairy.
I mean, one person who I've had a very very volatile 'writing' Experience with has been EdLove (I think his last name is Stewart)
and I finally actually met him (live,) over at Ashtree at Abigail and Liesl's Rogue Year Round on Friday...

And it was kind of weird...
I mean, on the one hand, it was like, we DON'T often hit it off on line, usually,
and there have been some serious paint traded in the turns (not to mention fender and frame damage,) sometimes....

But, you know, there he is, standing there, and it's like
'...Um, You're Ed?' (and he's like: '...yep, who are you?')
---and you say the name (he didn't know my real name,)
---then you say the screen name,
--and the lights go on.
---I mean, it's one of those '...do I love this guy, or do I kill this guy...' sort of things...
---but of course you love them.
They've been honest with you, they've talked to you, they've really gone deep, and stuff that is not easy to work with
---was done in full view of everybody... --and that warrants huge respect from me.
I mean, seeing him in person, talking to his buddy, meeting his wife, ---you see the real person behind the writing, (he's really a sweetheart,) ---and you find out things that mean all the more, --because you know 'the rest of the story,' too, ---and when you say
'...Dude, I'm going to be praying for you.' ---It means something (not that I just throw that out,)
---but it's like,,, I don't know, to WW1 pilots dogfigting at times,
---and then letting each other go, and respecting the honor that they've very definitely earned.

In a way, the only 'enemies,' that you can make on this are the folks who will not be honest with you, who will not be clear and direct,
--and who play games (or) try to cut you down
---and not even contribute 'why,' they feel the way that they do... (and can only go after your comments.)

I mean, I've said stuff to Ed (online,) that has gotten really intense. (Back when I was writing more.)
--but what was worth it to say in person, (and I'm glad I had a chance to tell him this, --because it's true,)
---was that SO often, when I was trying to be really graceful, understand it,
-and be how God wanted me to be?,
--He was already doing it... ---and then there were times were I was able to be that way...
But it was like, this guy was not afraid to be himself, reveal what he was working with and not, --as well as where the Lord obviously was working in his heart...
That's so rare.
That's so beneficial.
That's where guys like me, really have to be circumspect, ---and be faced with growth?
---or just fall to cliche'.
I owe Ed a lot for that.

Others who've been the same way (online,) when we're discussing stuff?
Same...

To a great extent, this can be VERY much like the early church or how a good synogogue was laid out...

You were given a concept, you were given a subject, ---you were dealing with issues of the day, ---and you had to discuss.
(It was like 'Fight Club,' I guess.)
---If this was your first night? You had to participate.
(okay, maybe Fight Club is not the best example.)
---but the elements are there.
Risk
Vulnerablility
presentation of what you have
knowing yourself
acknowledging others
respecting others
and coming to an end (before) destruction that accomplished something.
(okay that last one? and further? different from Fight Club.)

But, if we go back to the Bible as a model (and it always does with me.)

We're to consider each other realistically, hear each other out, ---and then defer to 'truth.'

I had this one professor (Danaher,) back in school...
He was a philosophy proff.
He was also a former monk.
---and he was like
'...Eric, whenever you want to just sit in on a class, please feel free to do so, we talk about stuff here, and it's worth it...'
It was an advanced class, it was not my major, and I think I was (either) too busy working (or) had grown a little leary because he had a slightly different viewpoint on Scripture (and there were some really really messed up things going on in the Denom at the time...)
--So I hung back.
(Stil love the guy, I mean, he's one of the greatest proff's EVER...)

But I regret that situation, (not going.)
---Whenever it happened in other courses, I learned so much, and was so blessed.

I remember when I went (back) to college (the first time going back,) in the mid to late eighties.
The proffs. were all sort of saying '...nobody wants to talk anymore... nobody wants to reason things out, ---they just want test answers...'

---In the mid nineties? (Second time I went back)
Waaaaay more of the same (and this was a missionary training college, dealing with a ton of stuff that you 'had to talk about.')
...Man, it was like pulling teeth.
Everybody was all wrapped up in 'performance,' --and 'outcome,' ---it was all about the finished result (the grade.)

That's why I see stuff (like my former girlfriend's kids homework) and would be so dismayed.
-The kid was taught to 'get answers right,'
---but not to really research,
reason,
think, and come to conclusions on things, (or really learn.)
It was all
'..gimme what I have to do, tell me what I have to say to place high on the test, and then I have to get onto the next subject, --and maybe get five to six hours sleep...'
(And this was in the 'preferred,' school system, with a grade school kid.)

By treating subjects, life, history, growth, ---anything,
THIS WAY?
We're hobbling ourselves.
We're becoming loud opinionated, and 'right,' ---but know basically nothing.

I'm a dinosaur.
At any given time, I could become extinct.
I know how fragile life can be, ---I know how you can be going down the road one day, and be in a box an hour later.
I feel, sometimes, like I'm some sort of spark or piece of something that was more intact, a long time ago, that exploded, and has been flung here.
(Am I some sort of 'great thing,' that is not available anymore?
Some sort of 'cherished artifact,' that was sent here by God to set things straight?)
Oh Heck no.
I'm sort of like a Four Door Rambler, just falling from the sky, and landing in the middle of a very nice lawn.
I'm barely housebroken.

I miss my people.
I miss my era.
I miss my food.
I miss my family.
I miss my weather, my mindset, my own set of goods and evils that I was raised with.
I miss snow...

But, the truth of it is, when you leave home, --you leave home.
It changes behind you.
I felt it last time I was there, -sitting in this great Italian joint with the whole family.
We were all together, ---but they were more so than I.
-And it was good to see them there with each other, and also feel like.... 'This is cool, they're going to be okay.'
--To which, next day?
I flew back here.

Here isn't home.
It never will be.
Here is 'here.'

But, when you live in a strange land, you learn to communicate or you go completely crazy, and starve.

And all of this, (even the forums, the postings, the counter postings, the involvement, the finding out, ---and the going onto other things.
(Sort of like the final lines from 'the Hours,' of Virginia Woolf
'...To know life, to take life into your hands, to look it in the face, to love it completely and fully for what it is, --and then to put it away..'
(Though, nobody's going to die here... ---not getting THAT literal...)

'Why I write'
'What I write,'
'Who I write,'
...It's directly affected by the whole issue of reconciling 'Where.'

And that's what this is all about.

How much writing in the future?
What to expect of me?
---Well, I have to sort out what classes are still needed with a huge back-catalogue of transferrable credits.
I then need to get on line for the 'lottery,' ---just to become an LVN (and joy of joys, they practice giving needles on each other...)
--From there? 'Bridging,' over to the RN program (once I get into the LVN) ---which basically takes the back half of the RN and adds it to the LVN (so basically we're looking at: 2 to 3 years... ---best case scenario.)

It's going to be a lot of work,
Most of my time is going to go into it,
--but on the other side of it?
I get to do what I've always loved (take care of people.)
..I'll probabably hook up some sort of 'chaplaincy,' along the way,
---though that's a little dodgey (due to things sorting out with (whats left,) of my denom in this area...
There's more furniture to restore, tons more bikes and equipment to be built, stuff to repair...
I have a full plate.

Already a lot of my literary work has slowed, (due to time constraints.)
But who knows?
Anything can happen.

In fact:
There was once this guy who literally jumped a rotting 4x4 black Chevy Pickup from one coast to the other, just to finally kiss a pretty Irish girl,
---and he actually made it. (He did.)
---but the landing was hard.
he hit his head, (which happened when the truck got plowed into by two other vehicles on a clear October afternoon..)
-but there were good attorneys, and a kind surgeon
--and now,
he's here,
and he talks about the darndest things...
Falls asleep talking sometimes,

Looks at out of state license plates from back east as if they're care packages...
Hears from God on a regular basis, (talks to him too,)

---Sometimes gets too close to the native girls...
Has had his heart broke...
(Healed,)

Re-Broke,
(Healed, she's now an excellent friend.)

Then Broken again...
(It'll heal...
It'll grow back... always does. (though I don't know about this last one...)

But you can find this guy, dodging traffic, pedalling around, listening to Springsteen,
Maria Callas,
the Ramones,
Talking to wherever back home is
on his antiquated cel phone that has the same area code from where he's from,
(-his accent comes out and his tongue becomes the thud of a baseball bat on a frozen 'Jersey road rut...)

He's a little confused at times,
okay, lots of times...
But he's finding his way.

He's going to try to learn Spanish
He's wanting to become a nurse...
He misses his ocean
He's no longer worrying about 'fitting in,' --he just wants clean laundry, good coffee, and genuine conversation...
-and he's got it.
(btw...Leo, I ran out, I need another pound of 'the strong stuff, -love to Liz...)

Every once in a while,
Even on these screens,
Even in 'Fresno,'
he's got it.

Next three years?
School I guess... that's what I'm trying right now...
getting on with my vocation(s) since I have no wife and kids to be focussed on (for a while there?, it looked like that actually was going to happen.)

But it's okay.
Whatever the Lord wants, I'm good with.
Fresno has definitely been a blessing,
-and I'm really, really, grateful for all that has happened.
This place has really proved me, and continues to do so.
It's been a very refining time of my life.

I don't know, honestly if I'm going to live here,
you know,
for good?.
I think,
right now?
I'm just refusing to DIE here...

(It's a desert, right?
Isn't that what you're supposed to do in a desert?
'NOT DIE?')

So, I guess it's going alright
So far?,
so good.

(....I drink a lot of water.)

.....Will?

That's all I got, buddy.

I think I'm done...

(Thanks... I mean, I still can't figure out why you wanted to know all this...)

But
Thanks.
(You're a brave man, you know that?)

Lord be with you.

-Eric L. Field
Fresno, California
1:40 am. (Pacific Standard Time)

NOT

New York Yankees Time... (there IS a difference.)

(G'night.)

(moves cat from lap, switches off lamp...)

Start Exit Music: (Warren Zevon: 'Lawyers Guns and Money')

-roll credits-

This interview is dedicated to:
'Squeak' Field
(Beginning of Spring '06 to End of Spring '08)
-Ended by two ignorant boys with pit-bulls-
I hope, if in heaven, there is an eight year old girl, who misses her pet?
that she's already found you.
Sleep in the sun, without a care in the world,
and then have a blast endlessly opening and closing St. Peter's sliding screen door,
(he's the big guy who smells like fish.)
you were an excellent cat,
Everyone sends their love
I miss you
Goodbye

(Hi Mom.)

--- END OF INTERVIEW ---

OK, Will here again. Thanks for reading all that. I know I posted this back in June of 2008 ... who knew it would take you halfway through the second Obama Administration to read the whole thing? Crazy.

Anyway, I'd like to thank Eric for agreeing to write 34,000 words for The Beehive. That's right, Steph, 34,000. I know this was a personal exercise for him, and whatever you think of his writings, I just wanna say I appreciate his willingness to share his honest thoughts with his community. I'd get behind more of that in Fresno.

--- GO BACK TO QUESTION ONE