Editor's note: This is the third in a series of five entries -- one for each question. These could quite possibly be the five longest Beehive entries ever. Sorry. Also, there's some profanity.

QUESTION THREE: Do you go back and edit your writings?

Hmmm, that's kind of a toughie to explain.

Something like a poem, I often will work on, get down, and come back at different times and really take apart and reassemble and stuff (lots of reworking.)
--Some poems just come out of the box, perfect.

Regarding the stuff that I've posted on line,
Um, everything is written in one sitting, (usually,)
(The stuff on MindHub, FresnoFamous, Blogger,) (etc.)

Yes, ---the things that are written, I'd say 99.9 of the time are Right as it tumbles out, and onto the keys, sort of writing.

I then, when I feel that the piece is done, will go back and read it like, '...oh, wait, I left out a word here or there,'
or

It's also really important (though I kid around about disregarding punctuation,)
It's really important for my written work to be positioned on the page (designed, so to speak,) the way that it is.
---That's directly from Poetry.
If you've ever seen something of mine that was (say to be posted on MindHub,) that go 'unformatted.'
Forget it...
I can barely read it...
That also comes from being a visual artist, and seeing words not just as concepts and statements, ---but elements of design at the same time.
Most of the time, I deliberately choose typefaces, I chose word groupings,
It all has to fit and function in a way that will really move the reader's eye where I need them to go.
(I guess that's one of the only areas where I'm really moving someone along, and it could be considered assertive or aggressive.)
It's important, it has a lot to do with timing.
---Some of the stuff I write, I DELIBERATELY choose different spellings, different positions, bolds, capitalization, phrases, all sorts of stuff (dots and dashes.) ---and it's all me establishing movement.
I'm a cattleherding dog, just moving folks to where they need to be, keeping 'em out of trouble, and directing.

I talk this way too, maybe that's where a lot of it comes from, --but it's all in timing.
I may be talking about 'this over here, endlessly,'
--but if you notice, at the same time, I'm altering the meter, I'm developing a rhythm, or establishing something that has a pattern,
and then, more often that not?
I'll put what I'm really working on saying in there, before you know what's being told you.

(Best way I can explain this?

-My Chiropractor, John, back in Philly... -He's all like, '....so, how you doing, look I need some help on the 'Vette, you think you can '....wham/crunch...' my neck gets readjusted.....')

-I had chocolate brownies one time made by somebody who had gotten into putting chili pepper in the mix a little (that was amazing... you didn't expect it, either.... (very beautiful woman, if I recall... her cooking really revealed a lot of her personality... this was years ago.)

-And then there's the obvious parallel to love-making where you need to be both rhythmic AND a little surprising here and there, ---all the while very genuine and selfless... (nothing worse than just plain old boring cold oatmeal mechanical lovemaking...)
Scratch that...
(There IS something worse... I suppose NO lovemaking at all...)

So, yeah, as I'm building something, ---or reworking it (if I have to, which a lot of poems are more reworked,)
I am deliberately doing that, ---and to me that's just the expectation of craftsmanship.
-You pay attention, You deserve to be given a worthwhile thing in return,
--my reward? I dunno, if I'm even thinking of one, it's that I've answered your paying of attention with something worthwhile.

I also am always aware, and sort of on guard, as to if something IS just 'vain repetition.'
'Hmmmm, I'm saying the same thing here, as I'm saying it there... IS this necessary, or is this just a repeat?'

I also really don't like using the same illustration twice, (Like, just as I was waking up this morning, it was like, ...oh man, I used the same figure of speech in the same setting...
Arrrrgh! (it's a combination of a poet thing, (where I don't like to used the same illustration or group of words repeatedly (unless it's part of the emphasis and rhythm,) ----and a direct response to my Dad's business (His studio was at home,) and he'd always use the same phrases and explanations for things...
(Like, you know when you'd be talking to him about something and he'd refer to something that happened in Kaneoi (sp?) which was somewhere (I think in the Pacific?) and had to do with the Marine Corps and Korea.

Because my Dad was in marketing, I got to hear a lot of the same phrases and illustrations a lot.
It used to drive me nuts, to be honest, and I was like, '...I refuse to ever use a cliche' again as long as I live.'

Then, as I got older I just realized that was just the way he was... I mean, it's almost like me writing and using three dots, (...) It just comes out like that.
---Answering (and I guess three dashes are a similar 'tic,' for me.)
Anyway, answering the questions, (I think it was 2, where initially I got very heavy into high-school and my teachers and a bit about my homelife and my Dad and stuff,)
--I wrote about his piano playing a bit more,
---and through all of this, I began to see that my Dad plays sort of the same set, and reworks it constantly, (a few songs in here a few out here,
---You'll always find 'A-Train,'
He's been working on 'Rhapsody in Blue,' for quite some time, now, --some of his origional stuff...
When I was a kid, he'd play 'the Trolley Song,' always in there somewhere,
---and he'd play 'When Irish Eyes a Smiling?,' ---and I'd be devestated...
(like, I remember sitting on the stairs up to his studio, just hiding out, listening to him, and I'd start bawling... (Dad can put a lot of emotion into a standard, lemme tell ya.)

So, now I've really grown to love certain aspects of it, ---but I feel strongly, as a writer that there has to be a combination of recognizable flow, patterns and rhythms that work with the piece,
-as well as NOT repeating things
(unless it's a point that I'm coming back on to reinforce, use as a touchstone for more 'further out,' stuff,
---or simply something that I've (mechanically, geographically,) decided to used to deliver the message of what I'm saying.
(Kind of like the vertical parts of a buttress dam,
---you have these big things all sitting next to each other, repeated, with space inbetween,
(in fact they're all unique, ---but they all are 'the same,')
---and then you put something else over an behind it, ---and the whole point?
Something that is not concrete at all, ---millions of gallons of water, now doing what you want IT to do..)
--I've written entire pieces (seemingly,) building something,
---and the intent and result was completely something else.
I do that all the time... my work is rarely only a couple of dimensions... I just think like that, I've always had that effect on people.

What's really fun? (not always literallly, 'fun,')
Something I write that IS simply straightforward and 'one demensional,'
--and has only one point, and I need that point to be received straight forward and clearly? It's startling to some folks (they didn't know I could do that, but clinical writing HAS to be that way.)
---and sometimes it's not trusted,
---because they think there's something else 'behind it,' and an alternate motive.
Truthfully, in relationships with people who have been lied to alot?
--or who have been taken advantage of?
I find that EVERYTHING I do and say has to be real 'just the facts, ma'am,' sometimes...
They've just been too burned by others, and my stuff is invasive enough.
(This means, also?
-that I may be REALLY screwed in terms of ever finding somebody and settling down and getting married...
By time you hit your mid forties, most of the women have been married, or in relationships with guys who really have messed with their heads and hearts a LOT,
--and then they meet somebody like me, (I'm sort of intense,)
---and they just don't have the ability to trust it and open up and be comfortable anymore... (that hurts, but what are you gonna do?)
--There are a lot of creepy guys out there who I'd not mind beating up, truth be told.
---But that's not how to help them, and would not fix anything, --probably that's how they got to be creepy to begin with...
It just sucks.

I DO a lot of telling a story to tell a story, (Which is a very old style, One of the first people that come to mind would be Bill Cosby, --who literally (on his records, --get the man's records,) would say '...so I told you that story to tell you this one.'
--And it's a way of familiarizing the reader with your method of communicating, ---and (also,) especially with the stuff that I tend to traffic in, Sort of critical in that, if you don't explain what it is that you're talking about, --and introduce the issue sort of slowly, ---or where you're coming from with that perspective, --the jump will be to great, and folks aren't gonna get it. (And you need to be nice to folks, don't wake them up out of something and make them immediately get on the floor and give you 40... Give them some coffee, maybe a little, '..so what do you want to do today, how'd you sleep...'
---And that's TOTALLY my Mom coming out, by the way... Very non-traumatizing person.

So I'll look at what I'm writing and see if that's kicking in.
If it's getting lost on itself, (which sometimes can happen,) I'll gut it down to the main points, and then re-work it.
If it still isn't working... I'll junk it, ---I mean, there's ideas and points in there that usually come out somewhere else that are going to be needed, ---but it's not like I have entire volumes of pieces of unused story sitting around on shelves and in boxes...

I do that with big stuff (religions, major themes of man, stuff like that,) --as well as smaller stuff.
I sort of see things as modular, and put them together in my head first, (sometimes they just cook up on their own,)
And then I just sort of document it.

There are times where I'll see something happening at the same time that everybody else does... And that's a real trip.
I think that comes directly from Music and the Arts.
You have to be able to detach yourself from it, ----while at the same time going through it VERY intently (kind of like those old arcade 'sit in the racecar' video game (Pole Position,) --you get to have the view from in the cockpit, right behind the cockpit, in back of the car, above the car (and seeing the layout of the track and other cars and stuff...)
---I do that all at once, and can figure out, ---okay, THIS view is going to be good here, THAT view will help there. And I just write it down.

Some stuff is basically one shot through, very little adjustment and tuning, (like Question 3's answer.)
Some stuff, jeesh, there are like three or four very different versions of the work that may have said stuff that was good and relevant, ---but I just simply found that it had more information that I felt was really necessary to the point, (may) have been too much information regarding somebody else, (which is always a concern, I'm usually writing about interracting with people (and) am always wary of HIPAA (even though this is recreational writing, ---still, folks have read my stuff and taken it the wrong way,) ----And people tend to 'go private,' and tell me things that they'd not always want out for others to know... ---So I'm always trying to be respectful of that.

Then finally, sometimes it's like I'm wrestling an elephant to the ground, and am trying to figure out the best way to present what I'm trying to say.
(Question 2 was a monster for me, I mean there are a lot of right answers, and getting them all to work together and NOT become this epic... --and then it was like: '..So Eric, WHY?' (Which is fine, I mean that's the point of the interview,)
---But I don't have a bunch of 'style-ready,' ---plug and play answers.
There are a ton of reasons why reading and writing means so much to me,
--and some of them were simply how my education rolled out
Sometimes the reasons go as far back as to when I was a toddler.
Others, ---there is a recent situation that really is unique and reigns heavy.
---Usually, (and this is really the way my head works, )---everything is understanding what is going on, through what has happened before.
(I'm not sure 'tabula rasa' ever really has been the case with me, like ever.)
'Rewriting,' (in this case,) is really choosing what to boil down, --what to leave out (because boiling it down is just going to ruin it,) ---and what to maybe use a small piece of after the boiling down has occurred, (as a tie-in, as a garnish....)

....Yeah, 'thoughts as Parsley'... that'll work... (rolls eyes, shakes head... 'somebody shoot me.')

And that gets us into the whole
'...I need to tell you this, so you'll understand THAT,' sort of thing.
-To me, quite often the backstory has just as much, if not more to do with the issue than the front story, (and I've found that, if you can get into the backstory, and understand Why, ---and how it relates to the present, ---you'll understand the present story, better, ---and sometimes really see how things are going to go even into the future...

But, yeah, most of the time what I'm putting on the various sites is just 'plunk down, write it, straight, -that looks good, okay, ship it, no chaser.' sort of stuff.
---Part of that also comes from learning on a typewriter, (where you have to have you thoughts together first, --otherwise you get tons of waste,) --from being performance minded, (where you have to keep stuff in the air because you have live humans following your thoughts, and you don't want to loose them, and appear an idiot, (or prematurely senile.)
--and a lot of that was from working with my (old) computer (a heavilly hotrodded P2) ---that used to crash a lot. (And I'd be sort of under the gun to get something written, and saved, or gone, BEFORE the blue screen of death.

Finally, there is the reality that, when you're trying to talk to somebody, you have to be to the point, (which sometimes,) means putting as much information as possible into what you're hoping they'll hear.
I'm not looking to drown folks, (even in conversation.) ---But I realize that my thinking and talking style is pretty expansive and can have folks swimming.
---So, to accomodate them (and communicate,) I sort of learned to condense stuff, and make it 'not so huge.'
---But that wasn't always so warmly received either, as you wind up with something that may be as big as a shoebox, ---but weighs more than the state of Rhode Island.

I mean, I've had really great friends (who were pastors in a church I was a part of,) who had a term that they called 'the Eric Field Minute.' --And it was purely from me coming up to them and saying '..got a minute?'
---Which, Even when it took only a minute (or ten seconds to ask a question,) they'd realized, by the question that there was more going on, (a lot more,) and that they'd better see what it was that I was dealing with, and that could take a ton of time.... (Kind of like a small child walking in and saying '...Dad, what do BLUE flames mean?'
-And folks often will say '...I just don't have the time.'

---Even on a rewrite, or an edit or a reconfigure, ---that's what's going on with me.
(So, yeah, the obvious answer is: ---Even when my stuff is shorter, it's still going to have a lot going on...)

If I need to show you the state of Rhode Island, and we can't take the time to look at the whole thing?
I'll bring you a bucket, ---and in it is going to appear to be a bucket of dirt and rocks, -maybe some saltwater...
(hah... that's what security and the taxi driver thought...)
---Once you look in that bucket, ---you're not seeing 'just those things,' ---You're looking at the whole State Rhode Island, ---and often times it weighs the same, and takes as long to consider, (even though it's in a five pound pail.)

Now...
A lot of folks don't like that. (Either the expanded view, ---or--- the shorter more intense view.
And a lot of times, they'll fall back on the riff of '...you're stuff's too long,' ---but they're really worked up.
---What they're saying (actually,) is '...Dammit, you found me, and you nailed this, and I didn't want anybody in there, and you freakin' found it and posted it on the internet, How DARE you...'

Again, it's not the stuff that we don't understand that bothers us.
-It's the stuff that we DO and don't like.

And that's the part that I get, that a lot of folks don't know I get.
IF they didn't have the time, they'd simply not read, and not care.
There are tons of folks who probably just see my name, scroll, and figure.... 'okay, whatever, dude.'
--and that's it.
It's that I write stuff that DOES matter, ---and they can feel it, and it's like...
'...dammit, I'm busy now, (and I've been busy ever since I discovered that, and decided to 'busy,' myself instead of choosing to go through it.)
---or (and this is the case too, ALOT)
--I hit on stuff that they've already been through, that did NOT go well, --and it's digging up a lot of feelings and is a real sore area.)
-So they'll not be too thrilled to be headed down that path again.

(Funny thing is, it's not always
'...but this is different, this is ERIC ---you've not been through this with ME, I make it different...'
Nope,
--sometimes it's the same path that they know THEY are going to be the same in, and it doesn't matter who's in the shotgun seat...
they know where that road's going, and they don't want to deal with that.)

I often (in life, and in writing,) never know which is happening, until we get going,
sometimes I don't find out the answers 'why,' until later on, and sometimes?
I'll only find out what was going on, truthfully, in Heaven... (and by then, it's really not going to matter, I don't think.)
THAT can be rough.
THAT can be devestating.
(Especially, when it's a relationship that you really believed in, ---or somebody who you really believed in... (again, Hello Fresno.)
---But, (and this is a major part, again, in knowing God... ---as much as it hurts, it's like, '...Okay, the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away... He can hold me through this,
in fact,
He'd better, --cause I just took out fifty feet of guardrail...')
It builds faith and trust.
(Not so much in other people, ---but more in God, and the reality of
'...well, if this gets rough, I know who has the parts and can rebuild me on this... so there's no need to be timid and not face this, -here we go.')

That's sort of how I see life, and writing is just documenting that.

I do think in some of my closest relationships, and in some of the fiercest posts and responses?
The whole '...who are you, and what are you doing HERE, nobody knows about HERE,'
has been a real problem.
It may be the one real deal (good and bad,) that folks in Fresno have with me.
( I think it's a real situation around here...
folks around here a a lot more reserved and a bit more 'tight,' with their emotions and what they choose to share or let folks into, or not. Maybe it's a Midwestern thing... I dunno.)

Folks just didn't expect to be minding their business, going about their life, (answers already figured out, not wanting too many surprises,)
---and then they walk into the upstairs hallway, and there I am, in my robe, just looking for the bathroom, (sometimes not even knowing that I was in somebody elses place,)
-Even when it's 'supposed to be okay,' --and even when they 'know that you're there,' ---it isn't always comfortable, --and my stuff can bump into, or suddenly reveal things that they just weren't ready to share or have understood...
(People are like that... they (often times,) don't know who they are, don't know what they want, and often times aren't ready for me... I just accept that and try to prepare them for what may happen,
--still, how do you do that? Revelation is not easy, especially among adults who are kind of 'set,' in who they are, and what's what.)

Regarding them sort of finding me in an area that they were not expecting me to show up in (which happens when you read somebody elses stuff, I mean, it's kind of something that you unfold and understand AS it hits you?
You never know how that's going to fly.

Sometimes they throw flowers, Sometimes they throw rocks,
Sometimes they scream really loud, (so loud, that you both wish you'd found the bathroom sooner...)
--and that's even with the nice aftershave on....

-You show up unexpectedly in somebody's kitchen in the middle of the night? There's bound to be (initially) a frying pan in your future...
Hell, out here folks'll just shoot ya.

But to answer your question, yes, most of the time, it's just built in one sitting, it's either moving and gets up and presents itself, --or there's one final tie in and it comes to life, ---but this stuff all comes out, and is walking around, same day, live.

-- CLICK FOR QUESTION FOUR