Yesterday, I had one of the best days of my life. And, while I know it has nothing to with "on the web," I wanted to share it with you all anyway.

The plan was simple: watch four movies in the theater in one day. The place: River Park shopping complex. The day: my birthday*.

The criteria for choosing the film schedule was as follows:

1) Each film has to be one I haven't seen.
2) Each film has to be one I want to see.
3) They can't be all back-to-back (need enough time to eat a lunch and a dinner).

The first obstacle was easy. Of the 13 different movies playing, I had seen only two: "Indiana Jones 4" and "Incredible Hulk."

The second was a little tougher: It's summer (when a lot of crap is released); would I be able to find four movies I'd wanna see? I decided against "Narnia," "What Happens in Vegas," "The Strangers" and "The Love Guru." I was open to seeing "The Happening" and/or "Kung Fu Panda," but my wife wasn't. And to be fair, they weren't at the top of my list, but if I'm going to ask another human being to endure eight hours in a movie theater over a 13-hour period, I should consider their tastes, too.

So we agreed on "Iron Man" and "Sex and the City" as the top two. I thought the new "Batman" opened last weekend because MySpace had been promoting it on its sign-in page, but apparently we're another month away. That left "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" and "Get Smart."

Now I know what you're thinking:

This dude totally movie-hopped all day and paid for only one movie.

Well, I'll have you know that I have been an upstanding cinema patron ever since I got busted for buying a child's ticket at the machine for a late-night showing of "The Last Samurai" at this very multiplex a few years ago. I was shamed when the ticket taker looked down at the stub, looked up at me, shook his head and pointed to the manager's desk, where I paid the three-dollar-and-change difference. I'm 29 years old; I can't keep acting like a child. Besides, now that I'm blogging about my day, I can totally write off all my purchases yesterday on next year's taxes. With age comes maturity ... and wisdom. (Those discount tickets at Costco didn't hurt, either).

Here are my thoughts on each of the films:

"You Don't Mess With the Zohan" (11:20 a.m.): In honor of the same-sex weddings I attended last Tuesday, my wife and I watched the movie that coincidentally arrived that day in our mailbox via NetFlix: "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." After being pleasantly surprised with that supposed stinker from Adam Sandler -- Donald gave it an F last July -- we decided to ignore the same cranky critic who gave "Zohan" a D. And once again, Donald has proven he's just a Sandler hater who has a limited sense of humor (we saw "Team America" together, and it was clear he just wasn't ready to laugh at terrorism). But while Trey Parker and Matt Stone are brilliantly funny, they intend to offend without regard. After seeing these latest efforts from the guy who once called Bob Barker a "b*tch," it's clear that Adam Sandler wants to use his mainstream comedic appeal for good. He makes such issues as gay rights and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict palatable for American audiences. He knows the demographic that finds him funny, and he exploits his audiences' preconceived notions to make political points -- sprinkled in with toilet humor, for good measure. He's not trying to win over the guy who live-blogs the Tony Awards; he's trying to open up the minds of those who want to see The Fonz ralph after a rough limo ride. After tepid responses to his dramatic turns in "Punch-Drunk Love" and "Reign Over Me," Sandler appears to realize he can get his new messages across with films such as "Chuck and Larry" and "Zohan." After all, you don't mess with ... what works.

Break for shopping trip to REI, lunch at World Sports Cafe.

"Sex and the City" (3:30 p.m.) I liked most everything about this big-screen continuation of the wildly popular TV series. I realize I'm not a typical guy -- I was one of two dudes in an audience of about 25 people yesterday -- so I can admit to watching most of the original episodes on HBO. And while I didn't (and still don't) get into the subculture that is consumed by the designer labels that make their way into chunks of the film's dialogue, I do appreciate good storytelling and I like these characters. And I think the conflicts presented here for Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker, not my wife of the same name) -- the drama behind planning for a wedding -- and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) -- dealing with marital infidelity -- were perfectly suited to the series' sensibility and allowed the characters to grow within themselves as well as in their relationships with each other. Samantha (Kim Cattrall) came across as more likable than I remember from the series, and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) was given some great comedic moments. I didn't like the addition of Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, who plays Carrie's new assistant. But I think that's mostly my prejudice of the actress, and the Southern accent she employs that makes her sound uneducated and perfectly OK with it -- especially since she plays someone with a college degree in this picture. But overall, I'm glad this movie was made, and I think it makes for a much better ending, by tying up all the characters' stories with finding their own versions of love than the series seemed to hurriedly give them.

Break for drinks and a kid's meal of noodles at Dai Bai Dang. (My wife ordered the kid's meal.)

"Iron Man" (7:10 p.m.): I'm not a comic book guy, so going in I didn't know the back story of Tony Stark (an almost flawless Robert Downey Jr.) and how he became the Iron Man. But I gotta say, this movie is one of the best things I've seen on screen in a long time. And I was skeptical about how often I heard that very sentiment from coworkers and friends who are into the comics. But I agree with them: this is a well-made, very entertaining movie. It's told in a modern context, with Stark Industries standing in for a Halliburtonesque defense-contract company that specializes in the latest weapons technology. From what I'm told by my geeky friends, er, journalistic sources, Marvel has taken over the production of all these new big-screen adaptations, after Ang Lee's "Hulk" received a less than incredible grade from the comics' followers. (For the record, I think any fan base should be honored that the man who made the brilliant "Brokeback Mountain" had taken a stab at humanizing an unavoidable CGI superhero. But ... whatever.) While I'm in the minority of moviegoers who actually liked the 2003 "Hulk" (well, maybe not crazy Nick Nolte's involvement), I also enjoyed this new one. So maybe the original fans should be the target audience; after all, they are the ones who first recognized the quality in the stories. And even though "Iron Man" and "The Incredible Hulk" have transcended their source genre for this paying customer, I don't think I'm the one who should be pampered to. As I said, I'm not a comic book guy. But there are plenty of people out there who are. And like them, I now can't wait for the next Marvel installments involving Nick Fury, Captain America and Thor. (Again, I have friends. They are geeks. They tell me things.)

Break for shopping trip to Borders, and parking lot to grab the large popcorn bin and Coke cup for my free refills from the morning movie.

"Get Smart" (10:20 p.m.): OK, honesty time. I got tired watching "Get Smart." I fell asleep. Then I woke up ... and fell asleep again. Each time I was conscious, though, I was able to follow along and not get too lost with the plot. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing for the movie. But I enjoyed it. Especially all the funny parts I had already seen in the countless previews that have been hyped for the past few months. (Note: the previous sentence contained a hint of sarcasm.) Carrie kept looking over at me, and pinching me to wake up. Then she'd laugh, and I'd get the sense she was disappointed that I wasn't laughing because I was too tired. Listen, all day in a movie theater can be more tiring than you'd think. Plus I had a couple of birthday beverages throughout the day, and we sat directly underneath one of the turbo-set fans in the big theater, so it was freaking cold (we had to move from our more temperate seats during the preshow because a gaggle of whippersnappers sat behind us and started yapping and participating in tomfoolery -- oh, my god, I just realized what happened on Monday: when I turned 29, I became old). But there was one good joke: James Caan plays the president, and at one point he says "nucular," to which Alan Arkin's character angrily corrects his pronunciation. Hilarious. Oh, and Anne Hathaway is hot.

It was one heck of a day. But it's OK, you can still wish me happy birthday. I will continue to accept well wishes. Like, seriously. Call this thing up in November, and give me a shout out.

*All this happened on Tuesday, which was the day after my birthday. John McCain was in town on Monday.