Yes, it will be the finale that "American Idol" producers want -- David Cook vs. David Archuleta. The Innovator vs. The Teeny Bopper. The Growling Rocker vs. The Theme Park Performer. The ... oh, you get the picture of who I want to win this thing and end this sorrowful season.

Tuesday's show -- a true sputtering to the finish line -- was a night of lame song choices (gee, how many times have we lodged that complaint this year?) and mostly amateurish performances from the Final Three. The show also aimed a laser beam at each one's weaknesses because each had to sing three songs.

Despite their own missteps, David and David will be the last two standing. It has to be: if Syesha Mercado breaks up this party, AI producers will be downing their antacids and aspirins by the bucket loads.

And the rest of us will be bored beyond belief.

For now, however, Donald Munro and I dissect Tuesday's tedious hour.

Overall impressions?

Donald says: AI continued its Long March (cue video of bedraggled Maoist revolutionaries trudging through rice paddies, lots of open sores, mosquito attacks, people starving, etc.) toward Forgettability with performances from the Top Three contestants. None of them were all that good. Sure, it will most likely come down to the two Davids in the finals. But that doesn't mean it's going to be a triumphant show. Here's what I didn't see Tuesday night: Archuleta expanding out of his vapid-non-threatening-teen niche; Cook cementing the meaningful identity that he so tantalizingly hinted at earlier in the season; and Syesha showing that she can be a pop star. The only reason I wasn't disappointed was because I wasn't expecting much.

Felicia says: Really, does anyone want to win this thing? It was like a comedy routine of "You take it ... No, you take it!" The song choices (one of their own, one from a judge and one from the producers) were abysmal and the performances not much better. Maybe Archuleta's behind-the-scenes problems with a dicatatorial stage dad have taken a toll on the 17-year-old. Maybe Cook thinks he just has to show up. Maybe Mercado thought looking glamorous would amp up her vocals (sorry, it didn't). And she has to be feeling mighty low: The judges made it clear they think she's outta here. At least Randy Jackson gave me one memorable line. Archuleta tried to sing Chris Brown's "With You." Randy tells the squeaky clean teen: "Seeing you sing 'my boo,' I didn't believe it."

Strongest performers:

Donald says: If it were up to me, and believe me, I realize that "American Idol" isn't, I would send Cook and Syesha to the finals. Though the judges beat up on her, I thought Syesha sounded better than she ever had before: relaxed, vibrant and in fine vocal form. The most potent argument against her is that she comes across as old-fashioned, but I'd rather have that than Archuleta's sacharine blandness. (And come to think of it, why doesn't Archuleta get tagged with the old-fashioned label? He practically comes in a set with Jughead, Betty and Veronica.)

Felicia says: Donald, are you kidding about Syesha? I'll get to her later. Cook was the strongest, in the context of these three. I do fault him for picking the little known Switchfoot song "Dare You to Move." And his approach was a safe one: Start each song on the down low and then build to a power crescendo. But Cook can perform with a sense of authenticity, even when he's not quite "on." His voice is just more textured and interesting than the other two. Simon Cowell saddled him with Roberta Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face," and he still gave it a go. He should be crowned the winner next week.

Weakest performers:

Donald says: Um, can you tell who I think it is?

Felicia says: Sure, Archuleta has no stage presence. On Tuesday, he proved he can only really sing ballads. And, unlike last year's teen winnerJordin Sparks, he doesn't possess an entertainer's instincts. But, Donald, Syesha was the worst. I find her voice thin and strained in spots. She is all gloss but no grit. Did you see and hear her rendition of "Fever"? It was truly amateur night -- overwrought and overthought. Just listen to the Peggy Lee original: Smooth, sultry and luscious. Syesha should have. And then the producers weighed her down with a song from an animated movie about penguins? If that wasn't an obvious move to eliminate her, what would be?

So who goes home?

Donald says: Syesha.

Felicia says: Ditto. But, on Wednesday, I'll be more interested in who wins "America's Next Top Model." You go, Whitney!