We have the answer -- Bring Barry Zito to Fresno!
UPDATE: The Zito-to-Fresno campaign has already been picked up on Yahoo's Big League Stew blog and been featured on the Yahoo home page (check the photo after the jump).
Barry Zito sucks. This much, most baseball fans will agree with. On Sunday, the pitcher who is supposed to be the San Francisco Giants' ace gave up six runs in the first inning of a 10-1 loss, giving him a league-worst 0-6 record, with a 7.53 ERA and more walks allowed (15) than strikeouts (11).
For all this, Zito is making $14.5 million this year. Of course, this won't do and the question is already being asked: What are the Giants going to do about Barry Zito? Move him to the bullpen? There is a better answer. Bring him to Fresno.
Here at The Beehive we'd like to announce the beginning of a campaign to bring Mr. Zito to Fresno, to be the star* of The Grizzlies, the Giants' AAA-affiliate. In San Francisco, Barry Zito is just another hippie with an acoustic guitar and an 80-mph fastball. In Fresno, he could be a God.
Picture it: Zito could use that absurd $126 mill contract of his to buy the Security Bank Building and live on whatever floor he wished that day. He could play his guitar at Cafe Corazon on the days he's not pitching. Heck, he could even be mayor -- we love quasi-celebrities.
The rest of baseball is mocking Barry Zito. But in Fresno, we know how it feels to be mocked. Together, Fresno and Zito could form like Voltron and rise up as one powerful force. It could the greatest curveball that Barry Zito ever threw.
Comments:
I love how people who are paid literally pennies for a lifetime of work vs. 1 pitch for Zito think he actually cares what their opinion is or if they are trying to make fun of him. Zito makes more money off 1 pitch than Osegueda will make in his entire life. He also dates hot chicks and I'm sure the same can't be said for Osegueda. I feel really sorry for Zito. He leads such a terrible life.
Posted by: Reality Check at April 28, 2008 6:29 PM
If anything would motivate me to pitch better, it would be the threat of being moved permanently to Fresno...oh wait, snap!
Posted by: Ryan Townsend at April 28, 2008 6:53 PM
Ouch, Reality Check (aka Barry Zito's sister, or is it Brian Sabian?) Mike is actually MARRIED to a hot chick. You seem a little angry, perhaps you should try reading "Science of Mind", Feng Shui-ing your apartment, doing some yoga or drinking some green tea (like your hero, Captain Quirk).
As a die-hard Giants fan (por vida!), I can appreciate Mike Oz's humor. Those of us who have painfully followed the orange and black through decades of "almost's" and "not even close's" have learned to laugh through our tears, it is the only means of coping.
Although I must say, Oz...at least we didn't DRAFT him! I'm sure he'll wear the A's cap in his Hall of Fame headshot.
Posted by: Erin D at April 28, 2008 9:01 PM
Billy Beane is a genius. Think of all the great players that Billy let go, traded or dumped just before they started tanking (Hudson, Mulder, Giambi, Jesus Hair, and of course Zito).
Don't blame Zito, he knew he was/is really a number three starter, but Brian Sabian didn't. Why should Barry have been the one to tell him?
(btw, great idea for a blog post Mike)
Posted by: The Fresnan at April 28, 2008 9:37 PM
hellz yeah, i'm totally in for this campaign.
Posted by: ed at April 28, 2008 10:39 PM
Awesome idea Mike Oz. As a bitter Giants fan living in Fresno it would make it easier for me to boo Zito.
Posted by: Erik at April 28, 2008 10:45 PM
1 Mike,
From hero to Zito! As I sat and watched Barry Zero pitch against the Grizzlies a few weeks back, I thought to myself, "Self, we're in BIG TROUBLE this season." This poor guy is going to get replaced by Helen Keller!
I think Fresnan said it best by stating Billy Beane is a genius. The A's have typically been ten to twelve games out of a playoff spot for the last six years and then they go on an amazing run which is spearheaded by a player such as a Zero; the funny thing is those players suddenly are the toast of the town and some unsuspecting team picks them up in the off-season and that team gets toasted!
He should come down to Fresno, he'll be the highest paid mistake here in our valley... Well, he'd be close, we still haven't ironed out our mayoral candidates yet!
Posted by: Mr. Incognito at April 28, 2008 11:26 PM
With the kind of money he is making he can just fly back and forth to Fresno.
Posted by: lancelot higgins at April 29, 2008 7:13 AM
Yahoo's Big League Stew blog has picked up on the Zito to Fresno campaign.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Fresno-says-forget-the-pen-banish-Barry-Zito-t?urn=mlb,79675
Posted by: Mike Oz at April 29, 2008 9:49 AM
Mike, I'm totally on this bandwagon. Zito would definitely bring a hip zen vibe to the ballpark. Is he dating any famous celeb starlets/beauty queens right now? How's that for some added dazzle appeal.
So what if he has an 80 MPH fastball (For you non-baseball types, that's a pace that YOU could pitch ... you just don't have a $126M contract like Zito.) Heck, he could even provide ballpark entertainment with his guitar on the days he doesn't pitch (as long as he doesn't upstage my fave Parker). Or, with that fat contract, he could pick up the bill for a fans' beer night or a hot dog night. Or, how about he pays for a $40-gas-card per fan night?
And just this morning I heard ESPN analyst Buster Olney tell Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg on their daily radio show that one of the options the Giants have in figuring out Zito's woes is that "they might try to send him to Triple A." We are one step closer to our goal!
Posted by: felicia matlosz at April 29, 2008 9:51 AM
Nice job, Mike Oz - another home run.
(See what I did there? Comedy!)
Posted by: Heather at April 29, 2008 10:39 AM
Idiot. Wannabe writer.
Posted by: Serg at April 29, 2008 11:51 AM
Bring Chan Ho Zito to Fresno!!!! Yay!!!
I'm so getting my blogger friends on this band wagon!
Posted by: Renee N at April 29, 2008 11:53 AM
HAHAHA! kudos to Oz for this masterpiece of the literary arts!
Posted by: Casper at April 29, 2008 1:25 PM
props to Mike Oz. it's going to become very hard for Fresno to keep you here. i think you should ask for 126 million from any news source that may want to pry you away from the Know.
Posted by: mdub420 at April 29, 2008 1:43 PM
Damn. When I read that article this morning, I thought the same exact thing. But I didn't post it. That's the difference between amateurs and professionals I guess.
When you start tanking at the Beehive, I'll have to invite you down to my blog.
Posted by: adam at April 29, 2008 2:21 PM
i know that mike oz has made it because he has a troll on the beehive. and i'm not talking about hmac, either. zing! (seriously, hmac, no disrespect. i don't want to incur your wrath.)
Posted by: ed at April 29, 2008 3:14 PM
The troll isn't named Pillow Pants is it?
Posted by: Michael at April 29, 2008 4:26 PM
Heather, if mike oz hit a homerun it makes sense that it was off zito.
Posted by: Erik at April 29, 2008 7:16 PM
Oseguedo, you've out done yourself! "F" ya, bring Zito's sorry A$$ to Fresno! I bet I'll have to stop calling him "SORRY A$$" if he's a Grizzly!!!!
Posted by: George Ohan at April 29, 2008 8:29 PM
Bringing Zito to Fresno is a great idea. And since his dad was a staff arranger for Frank Sinatra and Barry is a good guitarist, he could even have a job on his off days cover music for the local paper.
Sorry, just way too easy.
Posted by: jxsullivan at May 1, 2008 11:07 AM
That certainly does not pay the type of money Zito is used to.
Posted by: Mike Oz at May 1, 2008 11:32 AM
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