It's a bleak "American Idol" night when the highlight for me was watching the commercial for the upcoming "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Now that was entertainment: Stars. Action. Energy. Fun.

Oh, I digress. Which is easy given the mushy mess most of the Final 5 offered Tuesday. It was so lousy after Round One that Simon Cowell pleaded with these folks to step it up. They were taking the songs of Neil Diamond, whose music I've enjoyed since I was a teenager, and turning these gems into caricatures. Especially Brooke White. Seriously, BW fans, why do you keep voting for her? The wattage of her smile cannot mask the weakness of her performances.

Thank goodness Paula Abdul provided my other highlight. It was a busy two-songs-per-finalist show. The judges were given a few minutes to critique after the first round. Ditzy Paula starts with Jason Castro and then launches into what she thought of his second song ... I always suspected she heard things the rest of us didn't. It was just too hilarious and truly entertaining.

Unfortunately, Donald Munro and I can't say that for most of the show.

Overall impressions?

Donald says: This "AI' managed a bizarre dichotomy: It was both deadly boring and far too rapidly paced, which gave the whole thing a weird, nervous vibe, like Paula's synapses must feel when she has to do something mentally taxing, like push an elevator button. Neil Diamond was a dud; I'm not sure if it was because so much of his interactions with the contestants were edited out because of space or whether he was just sort of a non-entity as a mentor. From the looks of things, the most substantial input he offered was convincing Brooke to replace "New York" with "Arizona." There's a weird, desperate feel to the show as we head toward the finals. It's as if America has backed itself into a corner with these contestants. We're reduced to saying, Oh, they didn't do such a bad job, or, Oh, at least he's cute. To be entirely honest, Felicia, I would have stopped watching the show last week if I hadn't committed to blogging it on the Beehive.

Felicia says: I can't disagree with you, Donald. It's been a disappointing season for an odd reason: The contestants have/had potential but can't/couldn't deliver on their promise, made questionable song choices and/or can't/couldn't overcome problem areas (such as Carly Smithson and her tensed-up demeanor). It was a mistake to squish so many songs into one hour. Why not let these contestants find one Neil Diamond song, focus on it and polish it? These songs are ready-made for dramatic, emotional interpretations or high-energy audience pleasers. Tuesday's show was, as Simon said, chaotic. It felt rushed and rough around the edges. I also was disappointed in Diamond, who didn't offer much in the way of mentoring and whose voice and demeanor kind of reminded me of Rod Serling from "The Twilight Zone." Please, please can we have the challenging and feisty Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber back?

Strongest performers?

Donald says: Oh, I suppose it would have to be David Cook, though I wasn't exactly overwhelmed. Syesha Mercado was OK, but just OK.

Felicia says: Donald, I'm obviously more enthusiastic about Cook than you. True, his first selection, "I'm Alive," was more like "I'm Cruising to the Final with the Other David." But his second song, "All I Really Need Is You," was vigorous and delivered with a defiant grit and growl. I'll give an honorable mention to Syesha for showing more personality and pizzazz these past two weeks, as if Lord Webber's lessons about believing in what you are singing continue to inhabit her brainwaves.

Weakest performers?

Donald says: David Archuleta has totally hit a wall: He's the same every week. Jason and Brooke weren't as abysmal as "CATS" week, but let's face it: I don't think either of them would even come out on top in a contest of the rush-hour-open-guitar-case subway singers at the New York Times Square station.

Felicia says: Although Brooke continues to coast on her sunny flowerchild persona, Jason was the stinker of the night. I thought a return to pop songs this week would free up his imagination. But his one-note presentations continue unabated. By the time he finished "September Morn," that goofy Jason charm had pancaked into a deafening thud. But let me add this about Our Miss Brooke: Could she study a song before she sings it? "I Am... I Said" is about the pain of loneliness and trying to find your way in this world. Well, there was pain involved ... for those of us who listened to this rendition.

So who goes home?

Donald says: I will say it until it comes true: Brooke. (It has to come true, doesn't it?)

Felicia says: It will ... but not this week. Despite weak performances by Jason and Brooke, I say Syesha exits this week. I don't think she has enough of a fan base to counteract the power of the goof and the smile.