Quite a few interesting things happened in the celebrity world this weekend, and they're all so absurd and random, I had to share.

First of all, Shia LaBeouf was arrested. You're probably thinking D.U.I., right? (Those of you who aren't thinking "Who?" that is.)

Shia's arrest wasn't for D.U.I., though - it was for trespassing in a Walgreen's. Apparently Mr. The Beef got drunk, then headed into his friendly neighborhood Walgreen's and got unruly. When asked by security to leave, he refused, and voilá - the lamest, most embarrassing celebrity arrest in recent memory. I mean, trespassing? Come on, man. Britney Spears has run over two people in the last month alone. If you want to be the Next Big Action Star, you better get your bars up.

Moving on to the second random celebrity occurrence that happened this weekend: Jack Black dyed his hair blond. That may not be interesting in and of itself, but what it makes it so very odd is that he actually looks kind of good. Like a pudgy Jonny Lee Miller. Hot!

Next up: Christina Aguilera, who has a giant round stomach and has been caught shopping for baby clothes for the last three months, shocked exactly no one when she admitted to Glamour magazine that she is, indeed, pregnant. The reaction? A big, fat "Yeah, we know." Sorry, sweetheart - too little, too late. We've already gone back to speculating about Brangelina (again) and Britney Spears (god forbid). Next!

According to D Listed, Jane Seymour has admitted to having plastic surgery. Apparently she had breast implants put in before filming the movie Wedding Crashers. As you know, Ms. Seymour exposes the girls to Owen Wilson in that movie (more on Owen and boobs in a minute). I dunno. I'm taking this one with a giant grain of salt. But still - gossip about Jane Seymour's boobs? Random.

And speaking of random, the suicidal Owen Wilson was spotted on a date with Jessica Simpson, which cannot be good for his recovery at all. Come on, Luke Wilson - you hate her so much you didn't even want to make a movie with her. Get in there and tell your brother "No." Or John Mayer? Nick Lachey? Sit this man down and speak some knowledge at him, please. If anybody could drive someone to harmful self-acts, it has to be Jessica Simpson.

And finally, the most random celebrity story from this weekend has to be Katie Holmes running the New York City marathon. Katie did the 26.2-mile run in five-and-a-half hours, and was greeted by her creepy husband and cute child at the finish. I know I should be impressed (and I am), but mostly I'm just wondering how many people were standing on the sidelines cheering her on and shouting "Bitch, make a break for it. Just go!"