That sound you hear is 5 million women crying and singing "Your Body is a Wonderland" to themselves
According to Star magazine, John Mayer was spotted kissing Jessica Simpson at a party in New York over the weekend:
"The buxom blond spent much of her time tugging on his leg or clothing while he talked to other people. Ultimately, after growing tired of being ignored, Jessica threw a mini pout and was awarded a kiss from John.Then the lovebirds started nuzzling and kissing for real. But when John got up again and started talking with someone else, she started grabbing and squeezing his ass. Finally in a stronger display of affection, John grabbed Jessica's face in his giant hands, pulled her close and planted several very firm kisses on her lips before they left together at 2:47am."
Star usually doesn't prove to be a very reliable source, but TMZ.com managed to catch a photo of the pair exiting a club later that night.
Like many women who truly believe John Mayer is singing to me, I am very confused by this pairing. I'm not saying Jessica Simpson is vapid and a waste of space. No, wait. That's exactly what I'm saying. Seriously. Can someone give me an explanation for this coupling that doesn't include the phrase "really gigantic boobs"?
Comments:
Personally, I think the "really gigantic boobs" explanation is all that's needed :-)
that's just my opinion though.
Posted by: raymond at January 2, 2007 11:10 AM
I'm surprised John Mayer could find her lips, especially while speaking. Just watch the freak she bounces around like she has parkinsons. It's painful, VERY painful, to watch her talk.
Posted by: Clint at January 2, 2007 12:19 PM
Hellllooo - he was singing to ME! I'm crushed.
Posted by: Camille at January 2, 2007 12:38 PM
So who are you suggesting (outside of yourself) replace Ms. Simpson in this pairing?
Posted by: Bryan at January 2, 2007 12:48 PM
Glad you asked, Bryan.
Mr. Mayer is friends with Alicia Keys. I don't see that being a bad match at all. Keys has talent at least, so her and Mayer would have something to talk about.
Although I'm sure he and Jessica Simpson have loads to talk about, like.... and.....
Posted by: Heather at January 2, 2007 6:18 PM
She's got big, white teeth too.
Posted by: C at January 2, 2007 6:51 PM
"Giant hands." Ahem.
And wouldn't have "left together at 3 a.m." been sufficient? 2:47? The dirt must be in the details...
Posted by: HumptyDance at January 3, 2007 12:55 PM
Honestly. i Dont get it? how could someone so in depth and passionate about his music possibly consider going out with Miss "is this Fish ? or Chicken? ....
CAN SOMEONE SAY "BRAIN DEAD "!
Posted by: Jodi at January 3, 2007 8:50 PM
I don't know about this. I'm not saying I don't believe it but the way it was written. It's like "WOW". She needs to calm down. If the poor guy doesn't want to shower you with kisses and ass grabbings and all don't make him. Let it be a part of his private life. Maybe John really likes Jessica but Jessica's just doing it to get publicity. That's what it sounded like to me. I feel sorry for the guy.
Posted by: JMlove at January 16, 2007 5:05 PM
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