There are many things in the world I don't understand. These things include, but are not limited to, quantum physics, French films, girls who think they look good in leggings and the appeal behind most organized sports.

Today I found a few more things to add to the list:

1. Beyonce Knowles' need to show her armpits.

Maybe she's tired of being overlooked in favor of rising star Jennifer Hudson and is looking for a way to stand out. Maybe her head is tired from holding up all that weave. Maybe she's just stinky and needs to air out a bit. Whatever the reason, Beyonce has been striking this pose, arms above her head, armpits basking in the spotlight, a lot lately. Are armpits the new sexy body part? No. And they're not going to be if pictures like these keep circulating.

2. Keira Knightley suing a British tabloid for claiming she's anorexic.

Keira Knightley, who has claimed in the past that she is not anorexic, and is now willing to sue some people to prove it, looks like this in a formal gown and like this in a bikini.

I would never say that Knightley is anorexic, mostly because I don't want to risk a lawsuit. I'm just going to throw out some random words, though, strictly because I like the sound of them. The following words have nothing to do with Keira Knightley in a red and white striped bikini: Twizzler. Barbershop pole. Peppermint candy. Schmanorexic.

3. Lindsay Lohan's idea of rehab.

As you know, last week Linds announced to the universe in a carefully written lie statement that "I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health." She was spotted checking into the Wonderland Center in Los Angeles last Wednesday. Good, right?

Since last Wednesday, however, homegirl has been spotted hanging out around town, working and shopping. She was also photographed outside of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, prompting two important questions: a) Shouldn't the "rehab" part of rehab take care of any need to attend AA meetings? and b) Isn't it less, I don't know, anonymous for everyone involved if the paparazzi take a group photo outside the meeting facility?

4. Britney Spears. Period.

If you're trying to repair your image to bring back your fans, and you're in the middle of a divorce/custody battle with someone who used to look bad, but who is looking better and better each day simply by not being you, the last thing you should do is be spotted going into a store called "Trashy Lingerie."

Sorry, that's the next-to-last thing. The last thing would be going to a store called "Trashy Lingerie" with your child on your hip. Sure it was another time, but mom always left me at home with a responsible adult when she went out to buy her clear plastic heels and Bad Cop outfits.

Really, there are no words. Well, maybe just one: Supercalifragilisticexpialiretard.

I'm just saying.